Saturday, May 23, 2020

Remembrance Day 2020


Remembrance Day

The 30th of May is the day we remember our dear departed friends from our batch. This is now a special date in our Calendar. We have most aptly called this our “Remembrance Day.”
In honour of our departed colleagues, Nihal Amarasekera (ND) has written two articles,  the first of which appears today (23rd) with Mahendra Gonsalkorale’s (Speedy) musical video with lyrics adapted from Nihal’s article.  ND’s second article in which he pays a special tribute to some departed colleagues who were very close to him appears on the 26th of this month.

Lakshman Abeyagunawardene, Blog Administrator

Speedy YouTube video link:-




Note by BA: Recommend watching on full screen.

Remembrance Day
By Nihal D Amerasekera

I am overwhelmed by nostalgia as I reminisce those days in the Faculty.  I remember with a sense of loss a kinder gentler world which disappeared forever as I left medical school. The most painful of all is the disappearance from my life the people who meant so much to me,  my friends. I stepped on the treadmill to carve myself a career and raise a family. Now having reached the end of my working life I still yearn for those days even though more than fifty years have passed me by. We were so much a part of the Faculty and the GHC, the voices and laughter of those departed must still echo in the ether of the hallowed grounds.

The 30th of May is the day we remember our dear departed friends from our batch. This is now a special date in our Calendar. We have most aptly called this our “Remembrance Day.” I will indeed bow my head in remembrance of my friends and celebrate their lives. The gnawing pain of the loss of friends never eases with the passage of time. Friendships are one of life’s rich gifts. Those made and firmed in our youth are very special and are for life. They left us prompting great sadness; however, they leave behind fond and unique memories.

Nowadays there is a certain stillness that lingers over the morning cup of coffee. It is then I wish to turn back the clock to the early 1960’s when we were all together. There is a wish to walk the corridors of the GHC, enter the lecture theatres and enjoy a tea at the Common Room. Without that relentless chase for knowledge, the journey back would be fascinating and fun.

At this time we think of the spouses and families of those who have departed this life. They have had the immensely difficult and painful task of coming to terms with living without their loved ones. We admire and commend their courage and efforts to maintain contact and join our gatherings and reunions. They are an integral part of our community and will always be welcome.

The Faculty was our Temple of Wisdom. Our jagged path from the dissections in the Block to the ward classes and appointments across Kynsey Road, we did them all together. We feel
greatly privileged to have been taught by some remarkable teachers.  The harsh environment taught us to focus under pressure and develop an analytical mind. It gave us an indomitable spirit for the rigours ahead. We remember them (all except Prof. Priyani Soysa not in the land of the living today) with much affection and gratitude. We thank them for their commitment to teaching. We take the opportunity to remember our teachers on this our special day. My abiding memory of those years are the long walks along those hospital corridors swinging a knee hammer and proudly wearing the stethoscope around the neck. There was an air of confidence and a touch of vanity which came from being a medical student. There are times I still pine for the bohemian life we enjoyed in the Faculty.

Considering the quirks and achievements, our batch was unique. Although my career path was never as distinguished as those of some of my contemporaries, still, my claim to fame is that I once walked amongst them! Each and everyone of us has played a part professionally to serve society and the community wherever we have lived and worked. The academic accomplishments and the professional success we see as we look around, speak for themselves.

This list below is an expanding catalogue. We are moving onwards on our long and tortuous journey through life. The peaks and plateaus and the twists and turns seem to daunt us less. Still there are several challenges ahead. Despite life’s vain tumults, none of us is here forever. Our time will come. I share this not to garner pity, but to paint our new reality. The show must go on until the curtain falls.

Now in the autumn of our lives, we are in the grip of events much of it beyond our control. If we need another reminder, Covid-19 has shown us the fragility of life. Meanwhile, we must endure and enjoy life, family and friends. Farewells, Reunions and Get-togethers are invaluable. The latest in our attempts to keep in touch has been the social medium of Zoom. Do join and make every attempt to maintain contact.

33 comments:

  1. It is hard to describe how I feel watching the video, hearing the sombre music and seeing the photos of our friends. There is the inevitable sadness they are not with us anymore but so happy we had many years of friendship together. I like the Christian concept that we will meet again one day. Meanwhile take care and be safe.

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  2. Nihal, thank you very much for re-kindling those memories. My biggest shock was when Russel Paul and Dawn departed together with their two children.I have written about this episode earlier but I don't mind repeating some of it. Russel and I were co-house officers together with Professor Rajasuriya and Oliver Peiris. Post internship, we were together at Chest Hospital Welisara. When I joined the Faulty on 1st April 1969,as a lecturer, Russel came to GHC as Prof. R's registrar. We studied together until both of us went abroad.
    When ever he visited Colombo on holiday, we used to meet up. The last time I spoke to him was in 1988 from Indra Anandasabathy's house in Staten Island when we ere on vacation in the US.May all four of them Rest In Peace.

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  3. Sanath
    It is lovely to hear your memories of someone so special. I have written short accounts of special friends I had from our batch. This will appear in the blog in a few days. You are welcome to do so too. I hope we all can do that in this Remembrance Week.

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  4. Nihal, I don't know how well you knew Russel. His father was the Dean and Professor of Electrical Engineering at Peradeniya. When he decided to emigrate after passing the MD exam, I asked him why he was doing so. His reply was "My father was an academic all his life and when he retired he was still living in a rented apartment. I would not like to follow his path". Dawn was quite affluent, but knowing Russel he did not wish to live off her wealth. Manik de Silva wrote an editorial in the Island paper titled "Count your blessings" after the tragedy. I wonder whether you read it.

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  5. Sanath
    I only knew Russell as a batch-mate and a decent friendly guy, modest despite his brilliant academic career. I knew his father was a Professor. Dawn was from my end of the alphabet and I knew her well. She was ever so kind. I didn't realise Paul passed the MD and then emigrated. Manik spoke to me about Sunna and the tragedy that befell their family and the devastating affect it had on his mum and dad. But we never got a chance to talk about Paul. I remember well feeling absolutely numb hearing the news. I would love to read Manik's account in the Island as I am unaware of background to the tragedy. He does indeed write so well and with great honesty unlike some editors of newspapers.

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  6. Nihal,
    They had two children and the elder child who was a daughter was brain damaged at birth and probably had ADHD and was difficult to manage. Because of her, they got socially isolated. Dawn developed ankylosing spondylitis and gradually became bed-ridden. The daughter's long- time carer fell ill and dropped out. Russell had to bathe and feed their daughter and look after Dawn as well. Gradually it would have become unbearable and the two of them would have entered in to a suicide pact. IV drips were set up and a drug was injected. Knowing Russel well he would have calculated the dose according to the body weight and up to the third decimal point! The coroner did not divulge which drug it was so as to prevent others from doing so.The tragedy was that the son had been quite a clever boy.
    If they lived in Sri Lanka, the story may have been different because of extended family support and friends. Manik's editorial was related to this issue. Dawn's elder brother is known to me and he lives in Talahena.

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  7. Sanath
    Thank you for the sad information. Just goes to show how fickle and fragile life can be. Despite the years the pain of the tragedy remains fresh. May the family find eternal peace.

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  8. From Zita.

    Nihal, you have put into words the emotions, thoughts, longings, regrets and the sheer sadness of the loss of some of the most important people we shared our 5 to 6 years of medical school days with. It is timely to voice our feelings as another Remembrance Day, 30th May 2020 draws near. It is all the more poignant when we have all retired, yet some of us have the good fortune to arrive at today in various states, shapes sizes, conditions and shades of physical and mental health. We are still alive, breathing, thinking and feeling while some of our fellow undergrads have gone away with no physical trace to see, hear, touch or talk to.Yet the most significant fact is they are alive in our memory and we 'see' them and bow our heads in reverence and extend our loving thoughts to their family members. We also realise that we have the chance to extend our love and care and friendship to the rest of our batch while we are all still breathing. Let us salute them and thank Lucky for giving us the medium of this Blog as a platform to share our thoughts and feelings. Zita

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  9. When ND sent me his intended article, I was as always impressed by his ability to translate his thoughts and emotions to prose with such elegance and sensitivity. Earlier, we had some discussions about producing a musical video and when I saw what he wrote, I sought his permission to slightly modify it while retaining its essence and use the lyrics for a melody I would compose for the occasion. Initially I had ideas of making it a song to be sung by me but settled on a solemn melody with the lyrics scrolling upwards in the video. We both thought that it captured the mood and the significance of the occasion and submitted it to Lucky who was only too glad to publish it. We do hope you would listen to it and be moved by it as both ND and I were. As time passes it is inevitable that all of us will be part of a past which will slowly but surely confined to the annals of history but while our memories are still relatively fresh, it is but right that we spare a moment at least once every year to recall, reflect and gain strength by transporting ourselves to a world which we shared with our dear departed friends.

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  10. Mahendra and Nihal, I noticed that Razaque Ahamath's photograph is missing. I think it should be inserted between Desmond and HN Wicks.

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  11. Razaque is there between Sue Ratnavale and Desmond G..

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  12. Sorry., it should be between Desmond G. and HN W.

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    1. You must understand that their departure is not in chronological order. Even the insertion of dates of death in the latter part, I started doing much later. I have to depend on sad news coming in from others (non family) unless I have been in touch with them. For example, I got to know about the deaths of Sivakumar and Sardha Wijeratne years after the event. I still don't have accurate information about the date of death of my close friend Sunna althouh I was in the US at the time. When I met his brother Manik at the funeral of Sunna and Manik's other brother a few years ago, although we discussed Sunna's sad death, we couldn't pinpoint the exact date of death.

      I spent days in selecting and enlarging recent photos from past Reunions for my Batch Photograph Album. It was from that album that I got the photographs to complete this job. But I don't think anyone from the batch has asked me how I managed to get so many closeups. However, so many have commented that my voluntary work on the blog is certainly a thankless job!

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    2. Lucky, I did acknowledge in 2018 that the photo montage was a joint effort between you and myself. You sent me a lot and I got quite a few from the silver souvenir which has all the sig photos. I have my own collection too. As happens so well in our blog, it has been a great team effort.

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  13. Well done,Nihal and Speedy for creating the video in honour of our friend who have this world.Some of them were in their prime of life with a great future to look forward.I still remember all the names and some of them were close friends,of mine.
    As for,Russell,the lanky,with fair skinned,who would have done well as a javelin thrower,did climb well at all levels in the academic ladder.I am certain he would have been the Professor of Medicine,should he remained in Sri Lanka.

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  14. Please note that I have made a grammatical mistake in the last part of the sentence,should he remained in Sri Lanka,The wording,I am sure wordings should have been,"should he were to remain in Sri Lanka".

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    1. Sumathy
      Forget the grammatical mistakes. English is not our mother tongue. Just express yourself in the best way you can as I do. We all make mistakes in our English and I'm sure in our Sinhala and Tamil too.

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    2. Sumathi, you are doing fine, honestly! Just keep your comments coming

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  15. To my learned friends
    I love the video for the beautiful melody that is perfect for this sombre occasion. The imagery of the scattered stones in a dark background is most poignant. The photos of our dear departed friends is moving and seem to bring them back to life again. Our thanks to multitalented Mahen for putting it all together.
    Lucky has managed the Blog so well for us, for so long. I'm sure there are times it seems like a thankless job!! But from all of us thank you and well done.

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    1. Of course I musn't forget our audience without whom there will not be a blog. In the same breath our thanks go to the many who participate in our discussions and keep it alive. Our silent guests too play their part.

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  16. Nihal and Mahen,
    Thank you for having us join in remembering our departed friends with this beautifully somber composition so befitting the occasion.
    It will surely bring their families comfort.

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  17. Mahen and Nihal
    Thank you very much for providing the video and for the time and effort you put in.Gave an opportunity to remember friends who are no longer with us and we sadly miss.I was greatly moved.

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  18. Comment by Zita who is having problems posting comments:-

    When I typed the comment that Mahendra kindly inserted for me above, I have to admit I had failed to watch and listen to the You Tube video above, excellently arranged and presented by Mahendra using the very heart touching lyrics provided by Nihal and ably managed by Lucky the Head of our Blog. When I read Nihal's comment below the video, I jumped to write my comment and failed to notice anything else. Typical ageing me, eh? Well let me put that to right now and give acknowledgement to the wonderful work of all who I have mentioned and also others behind the scenes, who made and continue to make this Blog possible. I am proud to belong to Batch 1962 and hope we all continue to contribute in any way possible. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Zita

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  19. Dear ND,Mahen and Lucky,
    Thank you all for this magnificent tribute to those who have gone before us.
    I have composed my own accolade and submitted it to Lucky.
    It is as much an appreciation of you as of our friends.

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  20. I have received it and will be published soon.

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  21. Dear Mahen,ND and Lucky,
    I have watched it thrice already.Each time it seems even more special.
    I’m sure you must have contemplated something similar for our reunions.ND will write the lyrics and Lucky will provide the photos.
    They would be instant hits !!!

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    Replies
    1. Kumar and Bora
      Thank you for those kind words and thoughts. I will forever remember you both standing arm in arm opposite the iconic Chapel at STC. You were on the lawn. I believe it was keep off the grass in your time but as distinguished past students now you have the privilege.

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  22. Thanks, Kumar, Bora, Sumathi, Zita and Rohini for your appreciative comments. I hope that our Batch friends who don't comment have nevertheless watched and read and enjoyed. Most of all, I hope they paused for a moment and thought of our departed friends.

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  23. Lucky very kindly added the list of our dear departed colleagues I sent him. Now we have ND's beautiful essay, my video and the in memorium list. I am looking forward to others who I know have contributed.

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  24. Nihal, Mahen and Lucky, thank you for all the efforts you made in putting this moving tribute together. It was difficult to get to know everyone during the years we were immersed in our studies, when we were trying to stay awake during the lectures. But, I will share memories of some of our departed classmates, who became friends, although not in any particular order.
    Sunna was the first to leave us, and his sudden death in an accident brought our own mortality into a harsh reality. Sunna had a gruff exterior which hid a very warm and tender person. In Medical College he was always making comments about the "Bloody women!" Later on, Sunna was a regular visitor at our apartment in Brooklyn, New York, and I got to know him a whole lot better. He also made several impromptu visits after I moved to Connecticut. I still remember vividly the sleepless night I spent when I heard of his premature death.
    Satchi was also in NYC at the same time, and I remember how helpful he was when my 2 year old daughter required corrective surgery for a congenital ureteropelvic junction obstruction. He connected us with one of the best pediatric urologists in NYC and was very supportive during that time. Satchi was creative and intellectual and stayed in touch even after he moved away.
    Desmond, who had a great sense of humor, and strong and silent Kitha were also in NYC at the time, but sadly I lost touch with them after they moved to California.
    Ganesh, who sat next to me for five years, and was my protector at times, kept me updated on the latest 'batch gossip.' His death was a complete shock to me, because I was unaware of his illness. I was happy to have met him at our Habarana reunion just before he died.
    Manohari was my classmate at Ladies' College and had a beautiful dignified way about her.
    I remember Sidath for his musical talents and his mischievous, under his breath comments during lectures, when he was sitting directly behind me. The resulting giggles from some of us almost got us in trouble.
    Kamali was another person who disappeared 'down under!' I was so delighted to see her again after many years at our Hikkaduwa reunion and so sad to hear of her death a few months later.
    Priya was such a brave trouper during her illness. She definitely gave it her best shot, and through the ups and downs of her battle she managed to greet her friends with her dazzling smile. I was fortunate to have met her many times during her last few years.
    I was also fortunate to have met HN, now and again, during my visits to Sri Lanka. I will miss seeing him when I go back.
    It was great to see Suren at our Negombo reunion. He looked fit and well, so it shocked us all to hear about his sudden departure a few months later.
    Razaque's humorous comment's will be sorely missed on our blog. My last memory of him was seeing him in his kilt at our reunion in London.
    I miss the long phone calls with Sue, about all kinds of random things. Politics, books, the courses on Shakespearean plays that she was enjoying etc. etc. (I can only imaging how those phone calls would be going now!) Sue and I became friends during our last few years at LC. We connected again when we both realized that we had specialized in Pathology. We visited each other in Connecticut and Las Vegas and were planning another visit when she fell ill. She knew exactly how she wanted to proceed and I admired her for it.
    May they all Rest in Peace.

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  25. Srianee
    Thank you for your comment. It is indeed more than a mere comment. It is an article written with great warmth about your dear departed friends. We do miss you on this blog.

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    1. Thank you Nihal. I will try harder to be in touch. Please see my comment in the response to the post by Kumar.

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