Medical Student Howlers - Sent in by Mahendra (Speedy) Gonsalkorale

The following two stories are both true and perhaps known to many but it is worth recording for posterity.

The first was at a Ward Class conducted by Dr Ernie Pieris, one of the most respected and able Physicians of our time. He showed a meningitis patient with severe opisthotonus with head extended abnormally backwards and asked one of the students to describe what he saw and he, who shall remain nameless, said, "Sir, this patient is mentally backward".I wish I could recall what Dr Ernie Pieris said but I can almost visualise the amused and slightly cynical expression in his rotund face.

The second was at a Ward Class conducted by Dr Wickrema Wijenaike, one of the finest Physicians who graced General Hospital, Colombo. He asked students on how you surface mark the apex beat and an eager volunteer (not the same as above) said "Sir, it is in the mid clavicular line, half and inch internal to the nipple". Dr WW led the student to an elderly lady with rather large limp breasts which had seen better days and said, "According to you, this lady's heart is lying on the side of the bed".

There are many more, and some of them only us Medics from Sr Lanka would find amusing, but I shall leave them for another time.

Speedy.