Jokes apart – Life’s like that - Sent in by Nihal D. Amerasekera

Our old pardner ND is quick on the draw. Here's the first one under the new category. Thank you ND.

Jokes apart – Life’s like that 

The word anticipation bring back memories of  Ceylon and an old Copper.  To ride a cycle at night a light was required.  A man  was cycling along Baseline Rd as the sky suddenly darkened just before the rain. He didn’t have a cycle lamp. A Policeman stopped him. The cyclist spoke in English saying “I didn’t anticipate the rain” . The policeman  was a rustic and was non-plussed. He blurted “ anty – ta- saneepa naththang - yanna” and let the man go on his way. 

In  old Colonial Ceylon a lawyer was cycling with his cigarette on his lips. That was then a symbol of affluence and of style.  It was a dark night.  A policeman stopped  and questioned him about his cycle lamp and pressed charges.  At Hultsdorp  Courts, the lawyer argued his own case. He argued  “ the law states that a cyclist must carry a light at night”. He showed his cigarette and said “this was my light that eventful night”. After much deliberation the defendant was acquitted and the law was later changed appropriately. This is not a joke but a fact.  

As a final year medical student I was at the Jeewaka Buddhist Hostel in Turret Road (renamed Dharmapala Mawatha) almost opposite the  Liberty Cinema.  That was a time of hard work and of good clean fun. Upali Wijeratne alias Cunningham was also  a Jeewakite. We examined patients late into the evening and were returning back to the hostel, cycling along Turret Road. My  borrowed bike had a lamp but Cunningham’s  cycle didn’t, but he carried a torch (used to test the pupils). A policeman stopped us  and asked Cunningham about his cycle lamp  who then showed him his torch. The Policeman said” The lamp must be attached to the cycle”. Cunningham in his inimitable cheeky style said “ The torch is attached to me and I am attached to the cycle. So the torch is attached to the cycle.” Those were the days when a “doctor” could do no wrong. Cunningham displayed his stethoscope and went on to say how he saved lives on a daily basis. The Cop listened with bated breath and Cunningham was let off with a gentle caution. This too is no joke but a fact with just a few embellishments for good effect.  

A surgeon on his ward rounds came to a patient with severe diabetes. He told the patient “ I have some good news and some bad news. To give the bad news first We have to amputate both your legs”.  The news hit him like a bolt of lightening.  The  surgeon waited a few minutes until the patient composed himself.  Then the surgeon went on  “The good news is that the patient in the next bed is willing to buy your shoes”.

I know it is rather crude to make fun of such a serious situation. This illustrates my point  about jokes on the Blog – where do you draw the line??