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Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Phil's Scrotum - Sent in by Sriani (Dissanayake) Basnayake

The best story of the year doesn't give the proper praise and credit for this painful, but understandable story as told by a loving wife........

 The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

 Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.
 She said, "I have a praise.
 Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.
 The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

 You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.

 "Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain.

 We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

 Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.

 "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

 All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

 A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

 He said, "Hi, I'm Phil." The entire congregation held its breath.
 "I just want to tell my wife, the word is sternum."


  1. Sriani
    I think Phil's wife Suzie had a double-barrel surname- Smith-Malaprop !

  2. Sriani
    The General public feel they know medicine as the information is freely available on the internet. Those "Google doctors" fail to realise there is more to medicine than meets the eye. I reach for the wisdom of Mark Twain when he quipped "Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint". No doubt the internet is a tremendous bank of knowledge and it is wonderful to keep the public well informed. But there are some aspects best left for the professionals.

  3. It is nevertheless not really irksome
    That sternum got confused with scrotum
    during a what was a good sermon
    Allowing her to relieve her of her burden

  4. Instead of the "sternum" if the doctors messed about Phil's scrotum--- that would have been a tragedy!! I wondered on reading this posting "what happened to the BALLS????"