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Monday, April 20, 2015

Golden Wedding - Sent in by Sriani (Dissanayake) Basnayake

 
Golden Wedding:
A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
'I know,' the old man said.  'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.'
'Well,' Granny snickered.  'Let's relive some old times.'
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'
'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps.   'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal
 
 
THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
 
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes ....
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

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5 comments:

  1. At this rate Sriani, I will need a whole new set of intercostal muscles, the strain on them is massive!

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    Replies
    1. I am glad you enjoyed them Speedy.
      Sriani

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  2. Poor Granny -
    I Loved the two-liners- Carry-On Sriani !

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  3. I had to hold my sides and laugh!
    Who says doctors don't have a sense of fun and humour!
    Thanks a lot for the laughs!
    from, Zita

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  4. Sriani,
    You are not the same girl that I met at the medical School.You are grown up, matured in age and knowledge.Though,jokes appear to be vulgar 50 yrs ago,however they are the norm in 21st Century.Voracious reader

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