Thursday, August 3, 2017
Razaque Ahamat writes.....
This is an e-mail (unedited) sent by Razaque
This is slightly belated, but cannot disappoint Rohini Ana as she was very keen to hear about the 'incidents' that took place in my recent hospitalisation. It appears that they seem to follow me around!!
Anyway at a rather 'turbulent' period in our Blog, what... with all that Dosa & Vadai dialogue that went on and of course the jubilation of reaching the milestone of a MILLION posts on the Blog, let me say 'BIG THANK YOU' to you for all your untiring efforts and to all the participants in these 7 years or so for their contribution, without which it could not have achieved so much success. One moment to those shunned or who were indifferent to participate in this Forum..... "You do not, nor will ever know WHAT YOU HAVE MISSED OUT ON?".
Now for the main item of my hospital 'experience'. You all know that I was admitted to hospital as an emergency on 3 occasions within a few days. When I was admitted with my 'so called chest pain', it was an Irish student nurse who documented initial details. At one point she asked me "Do you live with your wife?" To which I replied with mischief "Yes... with my first wife". She was taken aback. Of course there were other nurses and docs & students who were 'eavesdropping' looked at me with some concern. The female Registrar smiling asked me "How many?" To which I replied "only one"... relief to some & 'disappointment' to others who wanted to know more of the sordid details. Then I was asked why I said 'lived with my first wife?'. To which I replied "I have only one wife --- only the first one, and I was not telling a lie, was I ??" There was laughter and that 'broke the ice'.
I was then transferred from A&E to the short-stay Acute Medical Ward that had 8 bays with 6 patients in each. It was only then that I realised that it was an Uni-Sex ward!!!... lucky me!! I also realised that I was the only male in that bay...... 'the only COCK in the HEN coop'!!! .....By the way the term 'HEN' is an endearing term in Scotland for the female of the species, although 'COCK' does not refer to males!!! As night fell the two beds on either side of me fell vacant (either discharged or sent to Specialist wards). There were all types of monitoring devices bleeping away, but that did not bother me as the 2 beds next to me were now occupied by two more women of 'ginormous' proportions that I had very rarely seen ever before!! When it was time to sleep and the lights dimmed & curtains round the beds closed 'IT' began. Noises from both sides like 'staccato machine gun fire' ... volley after volley!!.... they both were FARTING away merrily. I was kept awake by this. Then there was some activity in isle as nurses were talking to the two ladies. Then the 'machine gun fire' stopped and after awhile there was some 'hissing' sounds. Thought the these ladies had gone into the 'slow release' mode??.
I managed to get some sleep only to be woken up by the nurse come to check my BP / Blood sugar levels.
I told the nurse "There was some excitement last night & I could not sleep due to the sound of passing wind by two patients. I suppose other patients may had complained??" She said "NO, it was not the sound but the SMELL,we had to spray the place with odour elliminators "!!. I said " That explains those 'hissing' noises but have lost my sense of smell some time back & I suppose I was lucky, but I unfortunately I had my hearing aid on"....... We had a laugh, ---- to put it lightly!!!.
Next time....., there will be no next time & will be no follow-ups either as I may be gone for GOOD!!!.
Please pray for me for a "safe journey" to wherever ???