Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Speedy Dialogues: Episode 6 - Srianee Dias



Speedy Dialogues Series:
Episode 6. Srianee Dias

Making the Most of Your Retirement Years.
Speedy: Good morning Srianee. Here we are at last! I hope you are fully at ease and ready to talk about the subject we have agreed to discuss.

Srianee: Thanks for inviting me Speedy. I am not sure whether to call you Speedy or Mahen. You were always Speedy at Medical Faculty but lately I have addressed you as Mahen.  Mahen sounds more ‘grown up!’

Speedy: It really doesn’t matter Bunter! I know what you mean though. Let us begin.You do travel a lot dont you?
Srianee: Ha! Ha! Bunter indeed and I know some people still call me that, and there are some members of the younger generation who call me ‘Aunty Bunter!’  It is perfectly OK. About my travels, yes I do move around. As you know I am based in the US and have family in Germany and of course in Sri Lanka. This keeps me busy and actively engaged, which is a good thing, dont you agree?

Speedy: I entirely agree, from physical, emotional and psychological perspectives. I am sure we are going to touch on these aspects. Before we continue, can I offer you a glass of wine? I know you like a good wine Srianee. Red or white?

Srianee: This is unexpected! Yes, I would love a glass of red wine, Shiraz, if you have it.

Speedy: That is perfect. I have here a bottle of Brass Monkey Shiraz from Australia. It is quite fruity and has a lovely aroma. I do like Shiraz although I must admit that my favourite is Merlot. You are happy with Merlot did you say? No, no, I insist, let us have the Shiraz. Cheers!

Srianee: Cheers Mahen!I have to say that I do like Australian wine.

Speedy: The scene is set and off we go! Your thoughts on making the most of your retirement

Srianee:I do remember that you did a presentation on this topic at one of our reunions a few years ago, so I think well probably have a lot of suggestions for our friends, whether they follow them or not!

Speedy: This was at our 50th Anniversary meeting academic sessions in Hikkaduwa in 2012 when I did a talk called Challenges and Opportunities in an Ageing Society. During that talk, I spoke on health promotion measures to achieve healthy ageing and this is what I think you are referring to.

Srianee: Yes, that is the one. I thought a lot about this after you contacted me and the first observation I would like to make is that every stage of ones life requires adjustments - just like adjusting the thermostat when the seasons change.  Our working years were rather crazy, juggling the demands of work and family.  Keeping in touch with friends was also not so easy.  Life after retirement definitely requires some adjustments.  Now we have more time and it is important to use it in an enjoyable and fulfilling way.  Reconnecting with old friends may be a good way to start.

Speedy: Very true. I suppose this process of adjustment is life-long although the nature of the adjustments changes with time.

Srianee: Precisely. Some people are worried about retirement as they are not sure how to deal with the hiatus caused by stopping work. They continue working because they are concerned that all of a sudden they have all this time on their hands with nothing to do.  But people who have recently retired often tell me I am so busy now! 

Speedy: I have observed this too. This seems to be particularly the case with doctors of Asian origin, at least in the UK. For some, their whole life is centred on work and they just cannot handle the “loss”. I know doctors who keep doing short locums forever and in some cases, the spouses welcome it as otherwise they stay at home and mourn!

Srianee: Thats interesting. I dont know whether this is so in the USA.  Do you think this mourning is more prevalent among males? But as you know Speedy, this shouldn’t happen as retirement is something inevitable (unless you are unlucky not to survive to that age) and preparation is essential. You certainly have enough time to cultivate interests outside Medicine.

Speedy: I agree. I think you are probably right about it mourning being more prevalent among males, after all they are the weaker sex! I always encourage my friends who enter into discussions on retirement that they should have a wide portfolio of interests so that they can eagerly look forward to retirement when they have the time they always wanted for these. What about your own experience Srianee?

Srianee: In my own experience I was able to work part time with a few Pathology groups in Connecticut, after I retired, gradually cutting back as time went on.  This allowed me to become involved in other activities on my days off.  One day I realised that I could quit completely and not miss the work.  My family situation also influenced my decision.  My two daughters live faraway, and visiting them involve plane rides,and staying over for a few days or weeks.  I realised that I needed more time and flexibility to do that.

Speedy: That is another important lesson I suppose, which is to tail off your work rather than come to a sudden stop, but again, there will be individual variations; there is no prescription set in stone.

Srianee: Quite so. The adjustment is psychologically easier if full retirement occurs in stages.  The other milestone for me personally was downsizing my home and simplifying my life. This was also a major step to making my full retirement a reality.  I know that this is a difficult decision for many people, and believe me; I let the idea percolate in my brain for a really long time.  But, as we grow older we need to think about this adjustmentseriously.  Once I completed the move, I felt so free!  In Connecticut, my present home consists of a rented cottagein a complex of 14 cottages.  Our landlord is a Church and they take care of the landscaping in the summer and the snow removal in the winter.  When I owned my home I would try to relax in my backyard, but felt guilty whenever I saw a clump of weeds in the flower beds.  Now, I am free to leave for long periods of time, because my friends and neighbours watch the place.

Speedy: Moving housecould be a tricky one, and again, circumstances differ. Some still have a close extended family and like to frequently fill their house with all the sons and daughters and their spouses and still want to maintain a large family home, but increasingly, families are scattered and this is not possible and downsizing to a smaller more manageable one is sensible. But I do warn people against moving to a smaller house ina totally unfamiliar area. Your friends, neighbours, the local shops and amenities matter a lot more as you get older and less mobile and less flexible, both physically and mentally.

Srianee: I can see your point. Maintaining a large house for family gatherings depends on how often everyone is able to gather under one roof.  Some retirees decide to move to different locations (a new state or even a new country) after they retire for a multitude of reasons, such as better weather, lower cost of living,  low or zerostate income tax etc.  Like you, I have my reservations about doing something like that, but this is a very personal decision. It is important to have a clear idea of what you expect to achieve when you downsize and weigh the advantagesagainst the disadvantages.

Speedy:Spot on! OK, moving on, once the decision to retire has been made, what next?

Srianee: Once we make the decision, how should we spend the time? I find that it helps to have a rough framework for the week (a rough plan).  An exercise routine is a must.  Sitting in front of the TV for long periods is not recommended!  I try to incorporate some form of exercise into my weekly routine.  Often it is yoga classes twice per week, walks in the park nearby when the weather is inviting, or even practicing tennis strokes against a backboard now and then.  Sometimes it is a struggle to get out of bed to do this, but I know it is good for me, so I do it!  It helps to have a friend or spouse who will motivate you, but even if you dont, you have to do it for yourself.

Speedy: I dont think that there is any doubt that regular short bursts of moderate physical activity, something like 30-45 mins at least on 5 days a week promotes not just physical health but also mental health. The activity must be sufficient to notice an increase in heart rate and some sweating.

Srianee: Yes, I recall you mentioning that in your lecture at Hikkaduwa.The sweating part is easy in Colombo! I use a small gym on the rooftop of our building in Colombo. Taking care of ones health is very important, but I try not to overdo the visits to the doctors office.  I decline any tests, procedures or medication that I deem unnecessary, and consider myself very lucky that my health is holding up so far.  I am diligent, however, about my visits to the dentist and optometrist.
Speedy: I am glad you mention the dentist and optometrist (or optician in UK) as I find that a lot of Sri Lankans in the UK at least, are a bit lax about it.

Srianee:Actually there is a difference between an optometrist and optician, and it is not just the terminology.  I should know, because my father was the first British qualified Sri Lankan (Ceylonese, at the time) Optometrist.  An Optometrist is a health care professional who performs complete examinations of the eyes, for refractive errors as well as examining the retina for evidence of systemic diseases.  An optician is a person who fills out the prescriptions for the lenses as prescribed by the optometrist or ophthalmologist (who is a physician/surgeon).  I think it is very important to get the intra-ocular pressure checked at least annually.  I find that the optometrists do a very thorough eye examination and do not feel the need to visit an eye surgeon, just yet.

I think keeping your teeth and gums healthy are also really important, because it keeps the inflammation in your system under control.

Speedy: Thank you for expanding on that and the distinction is exactly the same here but it is a matter of usage. The term optometrist is rarely used by lay people and when they go to the "optician" for an "eye check", they actually see the Optometrist. As a Pensioner, I incur no charge and I visit every 2 years. I am glad you mentioned teeth and gums as I find that Sri Lankans here are a bit lax about it and visit the dentist only when they arein trouble.

What about social interaction Srianee?

Srianee: Keeping in touch with family and friends is really important, because it has been shownthat older people who become isolated decline faster.  I feel blessed to have good friends in Sri Lanka and in the US.  In addition, I catch up with my family on my frequent visits to Colombo.  Sometimes it takes extra effort.  As Pram said in her Dialogueit is important to have friends of all ages.  My older daughters neighbours are mostly retired couples.  The guys have established a tradition of going out to breakfast every Wednesday.  They call themselves ROMEOs (Retired Old Men Eating Out!) My forty-something son-in-law is an honorary member of the group.  I make an effort to keep in touch with younger, former colleagues, who are now my friends.  We meet occasionally for lunch or dinner as time permits.  They cannot wait to retire!

Speedy: Fascinating! This is a totally new variety of Romeos! Any other ways by which you do not merely occupy time, but also keep healthy?

Srianee: I think Book Groups are also a good way to hang out with likeminded people.  My group is rather flexible and laid back (no rigid rules there!).  Sometimes members show up without reading the assigned book, and nobody minds.  Libraries are great places to make new connections with kindred spirits.  My local library in West Hartford, Connecticut has great discussion groups about many topics, although I have not taken advantage of them yet.

Speedy: I am a firm believer of the value of reading books to keep an active mind and I agree that book clubs are a great way of combining social interaction with mental stimulation. We are fortunate in the UK because we have an excellent network of Public Libraries. One of my favourite ways of acquiring books is by visiting charity shops! You can also download a lot of free books in pdf form and read them at leisure in your i-pad or tablet. More tips?

Srianee: Having a hobby, or starting a new one, can play a major role in making ones retirement an enjoyable one.  I know that music plays an important role in your life now.  Im sure you didn’t have much time to devote to music when you were practicing medicine full time.  I am so happy that I have more time for painting now.  Ive even found time to paint during this visit, while hanging out in Colombo. 

Speedy: You certainly are a talented artist Srianee. May I remind readers that Srianee has posted some of her paintings on this blog? (Just type Srianee on the search bar at the top of the Blog and you will be directed). Other skills worth considering are photography, painting, computer work, there are so many open to you these days.

Srianee: Absolutely true. By the way, thanks for the compliment about my paintings.  I just enjoy doing them.  It is almost like a form of meditation.  Learning something new, or picking up something (such as a musical instrument) that you had dropped because you were too busy, would be very fulfilling at this stage of our lives.  The universities in my state of Connecticut allow people over 62 to enroll in classes for a nominal fee.  One can learn anything, from history to physics, once the professor gives permission. I took advantage of this last fall and enrolled in an upper level German class at Trinity College, Hartford.  It nearly killed me, but found it very rewarding.  Im also a fairly frequent attendee at the classes given at the Apple Computer store nearby.  I learn some new skills every time I go there.

Speedy: This certainly applied to me and you are right, I found it difficult to devote more time while I was working. I dont have a single dull moment now as I enjoy playing my Yamaha Keyboard, reading, listening to YouTube and TED broadcasts and learning new computer skills among other things.

Srianee: Another worthwhile and rewarding activity to consider is volunteering somewhere and assisting an organisation that can benefit from our expertise and knowledge.  It is sometimes difficult to find the correct fit.  Because it can often lead to a long term commitment, such opportunities should be evaluated very carefully.

Speedy: Again it is a matter of individual preference but to use one’s valuable experience and help others is so rewarding and fulfilling.

We referred to your travels at the beginning. Do you want to say more about it?

Srianee: My travels are mainly centered around visits to family and friends. Some people enjoy traveling extensively and have a bucket listof places to visit but I dont. If an opportunity arises to visit an interesting place, I take the chance.  I think I like visiting historic cities, absorbing the culture and visiting museums etc.  Im not too enamored with cruises (especially those huge floating cities.)

Speedy: A very common thing many of my married friends refer to is the satisfaction and happiness they get through their grandchildren. I know you are in that category Srianee, your thoughts?

Srianee: Yes Speedy, I have been fortunate enough to have grandchildren. I agree that we must spend quality time with them as often as possible.  (It is perfectly OK to spoil them a bit, I think!)  Mine are 17 and 15 already, and are avid travelers,and great travel companions.  We are looking forward to a trip to Sri Lanka in July 2019, just the three of us!  This would be their third visit, and they really love coming to Sri Lanka.  Pretty soon they will be striking out on their own, as we did so long ago.

Speedy:I hope you have a wonderful trip. I can well imagine how much your grandchildren love you but I just cannot get my head round to thinking of you as a grandmother! How time passes!
Let us finish with a few quotes, one I chose and one from you. Here is mine:-

"On the positive side, retirement can be an opportunity to enjoy life in a new way, the right to stop work and do the 1,001 things you've always wanted to do but never had time for, and a chance to give yourself over to new challenges and adventures." Sara Yogev.

And yours Srianee?

Srianee: I found a quote which kind of reflects my philosophy: “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love.  When you tap this source you will truly have defeated age.”  Sophia Loren.

Speedy: Splendid! Can I conclude by saying how much I enjoyed talking to you and thanks again for being the 6th subject of my Speedy Dialogue series. Hope the wine was good!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Srianee Dias MD, FCAP, Retired Pathologist and much loved and respected 1962 Colombo Medical Graduate.

Srianee: Thanks Speedy. Keep this going. It has been fun chatting with you and sharing a bottle of wine. The Australian Shiraz was good! Did we finish the whole thing?!I hope more colleagues volunteer to do this, because we can share so many ideas across time zones and oceans.

Speedy: We have gone through half a bottle which is quite acceptable, don’t you think! Thanks again.


35 comments:

  1. I have a question. Was the Australian Shiraz also "virtual"? After all, Speedy was in Manchester and Srianee was in Colombo at the time of the interview!

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  2. I really enjoyed reading the dialogue Bunter and Speedy. Big advantage in a face to face interview rather than the " virtual" one I had being offered "spiritual" refreshment !
    I know how artistically talented you are Bunter I still have this memory of the Silhouettes of your brothers you had done on black cartridge paper you had stuck on the wall which were instantly recognizable . I tried to do it with my siblings and it was a miserable failure

    I am sure your grandkids adore you. They are blessed to have such a delightful grandma.
    Personally I am really enjoying my retirement and find that I am busy as ever .... the main difference in my life style is waking up at a respectable hour around 6 am and not at 4 am like I used to do the early morning cases and of course snatching a short afternoon nap which was out of the question in the good old days. Happy Retirement! Suri

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  3. Thanks Suri. I'm glad you are enjoying a little more sleep these days! I know you see your grandkids often, and I think you all are very lucky to be living close to each other. As I told Mahen, I have to get on a plane to visit mine (and vice versa) but we spend quality time with each other, when we get the chance. A year ago my granddaughter decided to stay with me for four months to attend the local high school in Connecticut, which my daughters attended. I had forgotten how busy life with a teenager could be, but it was a wonderful experience for both of us. We broke some of the parental rules that she has to follow at home, and had fun doing that!

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    1. Yes Bunter I know how blessed I am to have all my 6 grandchildren near me and two of them right next door. My oldest two girls are both 11..... going on 16 ! !!. They are so knowledgeable and smart. I often ask Shanuki to bail me out when I get stuck with the computer.
      The 4 yr old twins are also adorable they were so concerned when they saw me struggling to walk with the walker in the early post op days and would snuggle up to me and stroke my leg gently. Nadja wanted to know " Is your oowa leg better now? " and when I answered in the affirmative grinned and asked " can I sit on your lap ? "

      It sounded as if you will be back in Sri Lanka along with one of your grandkids in July. That is great news. Would love to meet her. I remember being with you when one of your babies was born in the Labour Room at D M H. Would it be her mum ?
      Suri

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    2. Yes, I am planning to return with both grandkids in July (17 yo grandson and 15 yo granddaughter) and yes again to your question. You were there to welcome their mom into this world! It will be a great adventure for us.

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  4. Srianee,
    Nice to see you with that charming smile of yours,you always had from Medical School days.I,hardly had close association with you during gruelling Medical School days and not even at beautiful hospital hospital,where we did our intern period,where you and I met our future partners.I was offered a transfer to Deraniyagala hospital after Insurrection in 1971,for working under very difficult conditions in Deniyaya.I have heard enough about Deraniyagala area,where crime rate was high and I did not want waste my time hanging about in Courts.In a previous communication,I gathered that you were stationed at Deraniyaga la,DH.I remember,meeting you in 25th anniversary,held in out skirts of London.I could not place you at the first site.Good old BL(B L Perera) came to my rescue and he named you as Bunter.Name Bunter was not al all familiar with me,at the time.
    I am sure,you had taken the correct decision to emigrate and enjoyed working in the field of Pathology,all throughout.There are several places that I have not visited in Sri Lanka,and is too hazardous and tiring to embark on.Regular exercises,Yoga,learning a new language and talking will certainly,will delay onset of Dementia.Wish you the best during your retirement and hope to see more contributions to our blog.

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    1. Sumathi, Thanks for joining this conversation. I remember you well in Ratnapura. After my internship in there, and following a hiatus of 3 months or so, I was appointed to the Karawanella (not Deraniyagala) Hospital as one of the medical officers there. It was a very interesting place with a DMO who was running the place like a private hospital (his wards only). We were not allowed to admit 'floor patients' to his ward, because the patients who were admitted to his wards had paid him privately. After a while we (my ex and I) started defying his orders, and admitted 'floor patients' equally to all the wards. Needless to say, we were transferred out of there pretty quickly, because the DMO had political 'pull.' That was a 'punishment' transfer, one of us to Galle and the other to Colombo. We had already decided to move to the US, so we really didn't care. That area was a political 'hot spot' even at that time. During the JVP uprising in the 70s it became even more turbulent and dangerous, so it was just as well that we left.
      About delaying dementia, I think we can all try to reduce the risk by doing all the things you have mentioned. All we can do is try...

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  5. Thank you for sharing this post. I enjoy a lot while reading. Its really helpful for me.

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    1. I am glad you enjoyed it and found it helpful.

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  6. Ah! That's more like it. A glass of vino to lubricate the vocal cords and stimulate the synapses of the brain. So much better than a boring cup of coffee. I was just a fly on the wall. Thankfully Mahen didn't use the fly-swatter!!
    The talk about moving house caught my eye being so close to my heart.
    I am all for downsizing before too long as the whole process including the buying and selling is harrowing. One gets bullied by the solicitors, estate agents, the buyer and the seller, enough to reduce one to tears. I'm glad I did it 3 years ago. Now my GP and the High Street are a short walk away. There are 3 London Teaching hospitals nearby. The theatre, opera and ballet are easily reached. Most importantly I live in the shadow of the Lords Cricket grounds. My apologies for the boast!! I was merely trying to impress on the importance of downsizing when the time is right.
    Thank you Srianee for sharing your thoughts so candidly. You have always come across as a person who spoke sense and has the head properly screwed in. So lovely to hear you enjoy life travelling, reading and being with the grandchildren. It is so lovely even at this stage of our lives we have got to know each other better through this forum.
    Thank you Mahen for your thoughtful dialogue. I do hope many more will take up the challenge.

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    1. Nihal, I was doing something else on the computer and saw your comment coming through (since I had so cleverly clicked on 'notify me' at the bottom of this post!) You and your wife are so smart that you 'downsized' while you still had the ability and the energy to do it. It was an exhausting process for me, and what you describe about being at the mercy of so many people is so true. But on the flip side, I had so many wonderful friends who helped me. I remember you wrote about it on the Blog and that was around the same time that I had completed my move. Now, we have less to worry about. You seem to have found the perfect location and I bet you get a lot of exercise too. I find that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. But, as Mahen and I both agreed it is a momentous decision, and one needs to think about it for a while before taking action. And thanks for saying that my "head is properly screwed in." I should frame that statement for future use! It is wonderful to be able communicate and share ideas on the Blog. Thanks to all of you for keeping it alive.

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  7. It is wonderful to see Suri, Sumathi, Nihal Lucky and Stefan James (whoever he is!) contributing.

    One thing that has struck me more recently is how polarised some have become in their thinking. Life is binary for them- right or wrong, good or bad and nothing in between. I also increasingly notice how judgments are made without considering context using a principle which becomes one only when context is considered. and lastly, the confusion between what we think is correct (or incorrect) and the refusal to accept that this does not necessarily mean we are right; we thinks we are right but we cannot claim to be right while others are wrong, except in clearly evident material things perhaps, such as "I think there is a car parked outside the house" and not only do I think there is one but I know I am right because everybody around saw the car (apart from the poor blind chap and there are many like that who are metaphorically blind!). What I am slowly getting down to saying is how some people are adamant that downsizing is wrong and should be avoided, or that it is not good to carry on working after retirement. They can certainly speak for themselves but they certainly cannot pontificate in general. I had a recent conversation with some friends where a certain family was looked down upon because their mother was placed in an Elderly Persons home. There was no examination of the circumstances or the wishes of the lady herself but a general statement that they "dumped" her into a Home. If they examined the facts, they would have discovered that she was a very strong willed lady who valued her own space and found the Home perfectly suited her needs rather than the alternative of being an addition to a household where she couldn't express her own personality. The children lived close enough for visits and the bonds were not lost but this generality that move to Old Persons Abode is an expression of rejection by family was the yardstick used. I know I digressed a bit but I have listened to heated arguments which were not an exchange of ideas but just a futile attempt to prove that he/she was correct and the other wrong.

    With that said, I shall shut up!

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    1. I know I should keep my rather controversial views to myself! Point taken. I was hoping for views from another aspect of the prism through which we observe life but quite understandably, there is some reluctance to air these views in a public forum such as a blog- ainsi soit-il!

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    2. OK Mahen, you have just expressed a mouthful!! It made me think of the song "Shades of Grey" by Billy Joel (one of my favorite modern 'poets') He is singing about war, but some of the lyrics are applicable to what goes on everyday and to the kinds of situations you have described. We should be able to express our opinions, but we need to listen to others as well. You can probably find the entire song on line, if you don't already know it. Here are some excerpts:
      "Somethings were perfectly clear, seen with the vision of youth.
      No doubts and nothing to fear, I claimed the corner on truth...
      Shades of grey wherever I go
      The more I find out the less that I know
      Black and white is how it should be
      But shades of grey are the colors I see...
      Shades of grey are all that I find
      When I look to the enemy line
      Black and white was so easy for me
      But shades of grey are all that I find...
      Now with the wisdom of years, I try to reason things out
      And the only people I fear are those who never have doubts
      Save us all from arrogant men, and all the causes they're for
      I won't be righteous again
      I'm not that sure anymore..."
      As for people moving in to an "Elders' Home," that is such a personal decision, which can only be made by the people involved. We must refrain from passing judgement. I know many older people who are very happy because of the companionship they find in such places, in contrast to living with their young relatives who buzz in and out of the house with barely a "Hi" or "Bye."
      Please keep expressing your views here, don't clam up!

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    3. That is the key Srianee- "We should be able to express our opinions, but we need to listen to others as well"

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  8. Thank you,Srianee for correcting my mistake.I am sure it was Karawanella and not Deraniyagala.Indra,Desmond and Kandiah(our senior batch)visited us just before insurrection(1970) at Deniyaya.Kandiah was MO Karawanella,at that time.He was bit of a joker and was letting us his stories about the petty thugs who came with knife injuries.My wife thoroughly enjoyed his stories,which were related in understandable,Sinhalese.I knew,Kandiah from Bloem days.Indra and Desmond came to tell us about their departure to US.I,sure you too had experienced the gutter politics,prevalent,even during that era.Fortunately,for me there was no political interference.Their own spies had good words about my work to their ears.During my time,in Deniyaya,there were few attendants who were upto corruption,hated to see me not accepting money from patient and attending to admissions at night at the OPD and not at the bungalow.You would have realised after reading my blogs with regard to Medical Practice,in Sri Lanka,how much I hated the money grabbing doctors,who were bringing disrepute to that "Noble"Profession.I have already written to Lucky about my experience during the last few years,before my departure to UK.(Confidential letter and not an email)

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    1. Sumathi, you should be proud of yourself for upholding sound principles. Well done"

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    2. It still remains confidential!

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  9. Lucky&Speedy, a big thank for you two.Is there a place for honesty&integrity in Sri-Lankan society?.

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  10. Sumathi, I echo what Mahen and Nihal have said. You should be proud for sticking by your principles. Sadly, honesty and integrity don't seem to be a priority with people because corruption has seeped in to most aspects of society, and not just in Sri Lanka. I keep saying this to people "Worshipping money seems to be the new religion." One young relative who is in the business world in SL, told me how someone blatantly asked him for a kickback. It is the norm now. So it is up to us, parents and grandparents, to keep instilling the value of honesty and integrity into our children and grandchildren. Our work is not done yet!

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  11. Some of you may find this discussion on Morality interesting.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6L6WxwRBnM

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mm2Jrr0tRXk

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    1. Mahen, I finally found the time to watch some of these talks. I will share my thoughts and comments via email with you.

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    2. Look forward to that Srianee. The recent comments system I introduced is working well! Otherwise, comments on older posts get "lost" although they are not lost!

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  12. I have always been fascinated by the writings of Mark Twain - Adventures of Huckelberry Finn and Adventures of Tom Sawyer which I received for my birthday, when I was a kid, got me hooked on his wonderful writing. I felt I was there with those mischievous boys watching the barges on the Mississippi river.
    His brilliantly clever quotes have mesmerised readers for over a century.
    “Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”
    ― Mark Twain

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  13. Nihal, I share your love of Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens), especially his humor. You may know that later in life when he was raising his family (three daughters) he lived in Hartford, Connecticut. He built a very unusual house there, featuring the latest gadgetry, such as a telephone. He lived there from 1874 to 1891. The house was described as "part steamboat, part medieval fortress and part cuckoo clock" by his biographer Justin Kaplan! It is beautifully restored and is a very interesting place to visit. I enjoy taking my friends from out of town there. Harriet Beecher Stowe lived in the house next door.

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  14. Gosh!! Srianee that must be a lovely house to visit. Perhaps his books are displayed there too and some images of his past life by the river. I wonder why he moved away from the Mississippi he loved so dearly.
    I too lived in Hertfordshire a short drive away from Ayot St Lawrence where George Bernard Shaw lived for 44 years and wrote many of his famous books. It is now a museum and a National Trust property. He had a brilliant mind and made many useful quotes that have stood the test of time:
    The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.

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    1. Hello again Nihal. From what I have learned about Mark Twain over the years, partly from taking many tours at the Mark Twain House, he was a very interesting and adventurous man. He left the midwest after working in the printing industry, occasionally contributing articles to his brother's newspaper, and a stint as a riverboat pilot on the Mississippi river. He ventured out west to Nevada, where he got a job in the mining industry. He returned to journalism and traveled extensively in Europe giving lectures, which led to financial success. His wife was from Elmira, NY, and perhaps that is why he settled in Hartford, CT, which is not too far from her hometown. Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn and Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court were written while he was living in Hartford. He was self educated, because he had left school after Grade 5 to work as a printer's apprentice. Apparently, he was a friend of Nikola Tesla and patented three inventions (according to Wikipedia).
      He had a lot of financial problems later and went into debt because of bad investments. One of them, the Paige Compositor, a mechanical typesetter, is housed in the upper floors of the Mark Twain House in Hartford, Connecticut.
      He was an honorable man and paid off his debtors eventually. The fact that someone without a formal education could accomplish so much makes you wonder, doesn't it?

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  15. Srianee
    Thank you for that fine account of the life of Mark Twain. Much appreciated.

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    1. Srianee, Mahendra, Suri, Nihal and others, this is a treasure trove of an ‘interview, replies and comments, covering a life story of the interviewed person, and other subjects of music, songs, authours, history and geography! This is one of the best if not ‘The Best’ I have encountered on our Blog. We are truly grateful to you all for this very special chat over the garden wall’ or it can be ‘at the laundrette when our home machine was out of order’. What a wealth of knowledge we acquired! This interview feature designed by our Blog pioneers is, to me, the most interesting feature of all. Thank you all! I have noted down, books to read, places to visit and songs to listen to and words of a song to add to it, among other things. And all that was done over a glass of prosecco! We have also learned very good habits and how to keep one’s mind active. And we also learned not to judge someone because their mother entered a care home! I share this view. Judge not and you will not be judged! Thanks again! And the more that join this discussion the better it is! All the best Srianee! And well done, Mahendra and Lucky, for this fantastic and ‘funtastic’ feature!
      This is Zita (the late)

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    2. Zita, this is "On again, off again Srianee" replying to "Better late than never Zita!" I agree with you that this format of a dialogue (where the subject picks a topic) is a really good one and better than a straight forward "interview." This way one does not have to talk too much about personal details. (Some people are shy and uncomfortable with that.) At the same time, the reader gets a pretty good glimpse into the personality of the subject. And it is a lot of fun when the comments and discussions take off at a tangent! Mahen, thank you for this idea, and for all the effort you put into it.

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  16. Thanks Zita. Still awaiting more volunteers. The Wine cellar has been replenished!

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