Speedy Dialogues: Episode 6 - Srianee Dias

Speedy Dialogues Series:

Episode 6. Srianee Dias

“Making the Most of Your Retirement Years.”

Speedy: Good morning Srianee. Here we are at last! I hope you are fully at ease and ready to talk about the subject we have agreed to discuss.

Srianee: Thanks for inviting me Speedy. I am not sure whether to call you Speedy or Mahen. You were always Speedy at Medical Faculty but lately I have addressed you as Mahen.  Mahen sounds more ‘grown up!’

Speedy: It really doesn’t matter Bunter! I know what you mean though. Let us begin.You do travel a lot don’t you?

Srianee: Ha! Ha! Bunter indeed and I know some people still call me that, and there are some members of the younger generation who call me ‘Aunty Bunter!’  It is perfectly OK. About my travels, yes I do move around. As you know I am based in the US and have family in Germany and of course in Sri Lanka. This keeps me busy and actively engaged, which is a good thing, don’t you agree?

Speedy: I entirely agree, from physical, emotional and psychological perspectives. I am sure we are going to touch on these aspects. Before we continue, can I offer you a glass of wine? I know you like a good wine Srianee. Red or white?

Srianee: This is unexpected! Yes, I would love a glass of red wine, Shiraz, if you have it.

Speedy: That is perfect. I have here a bottle of Brass Monkey Shiraz from Australia. It is quite fruity and has a lovely aroma. I do like Shiraz although I must admit that my favourite is Merlot. You are happy with Merlot did you say? No, no, I insist, let us have the Shiraz. Cheers!

Srianee: Cheers Mahen!I have to say that I do like Australian wine.

Speedy: The scene is set and off we go! Your thoughts on “making the most of your retirement”

Srianee:I do remember that you did a presentation on this topic at one of our reunions a few years ago, so I think we’ll probably have a lot of suggestions for our friends, whether they follow them or not!

Speedy: This was at our 50^th Anniversary meeting academic sessions in Hikkaduwa in 2012 when I did a talk called “Challenges and Opportunities in an Ageing Society”. During that talk, I spoke on health promotion measures to achieve healthy ageing and this is what I think you are referring to.

Srianee: Yes, that is the one. I thought a lot about this after you contacted me and the first observation I would like to make is that every stage of one’s life requires adjustments - just like adjusting the thermostat when the seasons change.  Our working years were rather crazy, juggling the demands of work and family.  Keeping in touch with friends was also not so easy.  Life after retirement definitely requires some adjustments.  Now we have more time and it is important to use it in an enjoyable and fulfilling way.  Reconnecting with old friends may be a good way to start.

Speedy: Very true. I suppose this process of adjustment is life-long although the nature of the adjustments changes with time.

Srianee: Precisely. Some people are worried about retirement as they are not sure how to deal with the hiatus caused by stopping work. They continue working because they are concerned that all of a sudden they have all this time on their hands with ‘nothing to do.’  But people who have recently retired often tell me “I am so busy now!” 

Speedy: I have observed this too. This seems to be particularly the case with doctors of Asian origin, at least in the UK. For some, their whole life is centred on work and they just cannot handle the “loss”. I know doctors who keep doing short locums forever and in some cases, the spouses welcome it as otherwise they stay at home and mourn!

Srianee: That’s interesting. I don’t know whether this is so in the USA.  Do you think this mourning is more prevalent among males? But as you know Speedy, this shouldn’t happen as retirement is something inevitable (unless you are unlucky not to survive to that age) and preparation is essential. You certainly have enough time to cultivate interests outside Medicine.

Speedy: I agree. I think you are probably right about it mourning being more prevalent among males, after all they are the weaker sex! I always encourage my friends who enter into discussions on retirement that they should have a wide portfolio of interests so that they can eagerly look forward to retirement when they have the time they always wanted for these. What about your own experience Srianee?

Srianee: In my own experience I was able to work part time with a few Pathology groups in Connecticut, after I retired, gradually cutting back as time went on.  This allowed me to become involved in other activities on my days off.  One day I realised that I could quit completely and not miss the work.  My family situation also influenced my decision.  My two daughters live faraway, and visiting them involve plane rides,and staying over for a few days or weeks.  I realised that I needed more time and flexibility to do that.

Speedy: That is another important lesson I suppose, which is to tail off your work rather than come to a sudden stop, but again, there will be individual variations; there is no prescription set in stone.

Srianee: Quite so. The adjustment is psychologically easier if full retirement occurs in stages.  The other milestone for me personally was downsizing my home and simplifying my life. This was also a major step to making my full retirement a reality.  I know that this is a difficult decision for many people, and believe me; I let the idea percolate in my brain for a really long time.  But, as we grow older we need to think about this ‘adjustment’ seriously.  Once I completed the move, I felt so free!  In Connecticut, my present home consists of a rented ‘cottage’ in a complex of 14 cottages.  Our landlord is a Church and they take care of the landscaping in the summer and the snow removal in the winter.  When I owned my home I would try to relax in my backyard, but felt guilty whenever I saw a clump of weeds in the flower beds.  Now, I am free to leave for long periods of time, because my friends and neighbours watch the place.

Speedy: Moving housecould be a tricky one, and again, circumstances differ. Some still have a close extended family and like to frequently fill their house with all the sons and daughters and their spouses and still want to maintain a large family home, but increasingly, families are scattered and this is not possible and downsizing to a smaller more manageable one is sensible. But I do warn people against moving to a smaller house ina totally unfamiliar area. Your friends, neighbours, the local shops and amenities matter a lot more as you get older and less mobile and less flexible, both physically and mentally.

Srianee: I can see your point. Maintaining a large house for family gatherings depends on how often everyone is able to gather under one roof.  Some retirees decide to move to different locations (a new state or even a new country) after they retire for a multitude of reasons, such as better weather, lower cost of living,  low or zerostate income tax etc.  Like you, I have my reservations about doing something like that, but this is a very personal decision. It is important to have a clear idea of what you expect to achieve when you downsize and weigh the advantagesagainst the disadvantages.

Speedy:Spot on! OK, moving on, once the decision to retire has been made, what next?

Srianee: Once we make the decision, how should we spend the time? I find that it helps to have a rough framework for the week (a rough plan).  An exercise routine is a must.  Sitting in front of the TV for long periods is not recommended!  I try to incorporate some form of exercise into my weekly routine.  Often it is yoga classes twice per week, walks in the park nearby when the weather is inviting, or even practicing tennis strokes against a backboard now and then.  Sometimes it is a struggle to get out of bed to do this, but I know it is good for me, so I do it!  It helps to have a friend or spouse who will motivate you, but even if you don’t, you have to do it for yourself.

Speedy: I don’t think that there is any doubt that regular short bursts of moderate physical activity, something like 30-45 mins at least on 5 days a week promotes not just physical health but also mental health. The activity must be sufficient to notice an increase in heart rate and some sweating.

Srianee: Yes, I recall you mentioning that in your lecture at Hikkaduwa.The sweating part is easy in Colombo! I use a small gym on the rooftop of our building in Colombo. Taking care of one’s health is very important, but I try not to overdo the visits to the doctor’s office.  I decline any tests, procedures or medication that I deem unnecessary, and consider myself very lucky that my health is holding up so far.  I am diligent, however, about my visits to the dentist and optometrist.

Speedy: I am glad you mention the dentist and optometrist (or optician in UK) as I find that a lot of Sri Lankans in the UK at least, are a bit lax about it.

Srianee:Actually there is a difference between an optometrist and optician, and it is not just the terminology.  I should know, because my father was the first British qualified Sri Lankan (Ceylonese, at the time) Optometrist.  An Optometrist is a health care professional who performs complete examinations of the eyes, for refractive errors as well as examining the retina for evidence of systemic diseases.  An optician is a person who fills out the prescriptions for the lenses as prescribed by the optometrist or ophthalmologist (who is a physician/surgeon).  I think it is very important to get the intra-ocular pressure checked at least annually.  I find that the optometrists do a very thorough eye examination and do not feel the need to visit an eye surgeon, just yet.

I think keeping your teeth and gums healthy are also really important, because it keeps the inflammation in your system under control.

Speedy: Thank you for expanding on that and the distinction is exactly the same here but it is a matter of usage. The term optometrist is rarely used by lay people and when they go to the "optician" for an "eye check", they actually see the Optometrist. As a Pensioner, I incur no charge and I visit every 2 years. I am glad you mentioned teeth and gums as I find that Sri Lankans here are a bit lax about it and visit the dentist only when they arein trouble.

What about social interaction Srianee?

Srianee: Keeping in touch with family and friends is really important, because it has been shownthat older people who become isolated decline faster.  I feel blessed to have good friends in Sri Lanka and in the US.  In addition, I catch up with my family on my frequent visits to Colombo.  Sometimes it takes extra effort.  As Pram said in her ‘Dialogue’ it is important to have friends of all ages.  My older daughter’s neighbours are mostly retired couples.  The guys have established a tradition of going out to breakfast every Wednesday.  They call themselves ROMEOs (Retired Old Men Eating Out!) My forty-something son-in-law is an honorary member of the group.  I make an effort to keep in touch with younger, former colleagues, who are now my friends.  We meet occasionally for lunch or dinner as time permits.  They cannot wait to retire!

Speedy: Fascinating! This is a totally new variety of Romeos! Any other ways by which you do not merely occupy time, but also keep healthy?

Srianee: I think Book Groups are also a good way to hang out with likeminded people.  My group is rather flexible and laid back (no rigid rules there!).  Sometimes members show up without reading the assigned book, and nobody minds.  Libraries are great places to make new connections with kindred spirits.  My local library in West Hartford, Connecticut has great discussion groups about many topics, although I have not taken advantage of them yet.

Speedy: I am a firm believer of the value of reading books to keep an active mind and I agree that book clubs are a great way of combining social interaction with mental stimulation. We are fortunate in the UK because we have an excellent network of Public Libraries. One of my favourite ways of acquiring books is by visiting charity shops! You can also download a lot of free books in pdf form and read them at leisure in your i-pad or tablet. More tips?

Srianee: Having a hobby, or starting a new one, can play a major role in making one’s retirement an enjoyable one.  I know that music plays an important role in your life now.  I’m sure you didn’t have much time to devote to music when you were practicing medicine full time.  I am so happy that I have more time for painting now.  I’ve even found time to paint during this visit, while hanging out in Colombo. 

Speedy: You certainly are a talented artist Srianee. May I remind readers that Srianee has posted some of her paintings on this blog? (Just type Srianee on the search bar at the top of the Blog and you will be directed). Other skills worth considering are photography, painting, computer work, there are so many open to you these days.

Srianee: Absolutely true. By the way, thanks for the compliment about my paintings.  I just enjoy doing them.  It is almost like a form of meditation.  Learning something new, or picking up something (such as a musical instrument) that you had dropped because you were too busy, would be very fulfilling at this stage of our lives.  The universities in my state of Connecticut allow people over 62 to enroll in classes for a nominal fee.  One can learn anything, from history to physics, once the professor gives permission. I took advantage of this last fall and enrolled in an upper level German class at Trinity College, Hartford.  It nearly killed me, but found it very rewarding.  I’m also a fairly frequent attendee at the classes given at the Apple Computer store nearby.  I learn some new skills every time I go there.

Speedy: This certainly applied to me and you are right, I found it difficult to devote more time while I was working. I don’t have a single dull moment now as I enjoy playing my Yamaha Keyboard, reading, listening to YouTube and TED broadcasts and learning new computer skills among other things.

Srianee: Another worthwhile and rewarding activity to consider is volunteering somewhere and assisting an organisation that can benefit from our expertise and knowledge.  It is sometimes difficult to find the correct fit.  Because it can often lead to a long term commitment, such opportunities should be evaluated very carefully.

Speedy: Again it is a matter of individual preference but to use one’s valuable experience and help others is so rewarding and fulfilling.

We referred to your travels at the beginning. Do you want to say more about it?

Srianee: My travels are mainly centered around visits to family and friends. Some people enjoy traveling extensively and have a ‘bucket list’ of places to visit but I don’t. If an opportunity arises to visit an interesting place, I take the chance.  I think I like visiting historic cities, absorbing the culture and visiting museums etc.  I’m not too enamored with cruises (especially those huge floating cities.)

Speedy: A very common thing many of my married friends refer to is the satisfaction and happiness they get through their grandchildren. I know you are in that category Srianee, your thoughts?

Srianee: Yes Speedy, I have been fortunate enough to have grandchildren. I agree that we must spend quality time with them as often as possible.  (It is perfectly OK to spoil them a bit, I think!)  Mine are 17 and 15 already, and are avid travelers,and great travel companions.  We are looking forward to a trip to Sri Lanka in July 2019, just the three of us!  This would be their third visit, and they really love coming to Sri Lanka.  Pretty soon they will be striking out on their own, as we did so long ago.

Speedy:I hope you have a wonderful trip. I can well imagine how much your grandchildren love you but I just cannot get my head round to thinking of you as a grandmother! How time passes!

Let us finish with a few quotes, one I chose and one from you. Here is mine:-

"On the positive side, retirement can be an opportunity to enjoy life in a new way, the right to stop work and do the 1,001 things you've always wanted to do but never had time for, and a chance to give yourself over to new challenges and adventures." Sara Yogev.

And yours Srianee?

Srianee: I found a quote which kind of reflects my philosophy: “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love.  When you tap this source you will truly have defeated age.”  Sophia Loren.

Speedy: Splendid! Can I conclude by saying how much I enjoyed talking to you and thanks again for being the 6^th subject of my Speedy Dialogue series. Hope the wine was good!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Srianee Dias MD, FCAP, Retired Pathologist and much loved and respected 1962 Colombo Medical Graduate.

Srianee: Thanks Speedy. Keep this going. It has been fun chatting with you and sharing a bottle of wine. The Australian Shiraz was good! Did we finish the whole thing?!I hope more colleagues volunteer to do this, because we can share so many ideas across time zones and oceans.

Speedy: We have gone through half a bottle which is quite acceptable, don’t you think! Thanks again.