Speedy Dialogue ND

THE SPEEDY VIRTUAL INTERVIEW SERIES

Speedy Dialogues

Episode 2, January 2019

Speedy with Nihal D Amerasekera

On, “If we could turn the clock back Profession wise” and “what the Blog means to us”

I hope readers will warm towards my latest idea. I plan to discuss various topics with friends who volunteer. The topics are wide open. Please come up with suggestions.This is the second in the series with my great pal ND. The first was with Zita.

Speedy: Good morning ND (still used to calling you ND!)Thanks for agreeing to take part in the second of my dialogues series.

ND: My pleasure Mahen (as I call you now). It appears to me you've had a wonderful career in medicine with position, prestige and all the other trappings of a successful NHS consultant. Academically you have achieved your goals. If you were given one wish to improve your professional life what would it be? If given another chance to live your life would you choose a different path? Please explain

Speedy: A tough one. I know of course that this is entirely a hypothetical question and I shall do my best to answer it. I think you know my general view that I do not usually go back in time and reflect on what other path or paths I may have taken as the story is written and the drama enacted. But sticking to the point and moving on, you were fairly specific. You said “If you were given one wish to improve your professional life what would it be? Would you choose a different path?” The difficulty in tackling it in this manner is that it is hard to separate my professional life from my personal life. Accepting this caveat, I have two things in mind. Firstly, this nagging feeling somewhere in my subconscious that I had the ability and desire to continue to serve my country of birth professionally, but did not do so. Although I started on that journey and progressed well, I paused and chose a different direction for personal reasons most people are aware of. But I am not certain in my own mind whether my motives are genuinely “patriotic” or “personal”. I was only the second Neurologist in Sri Lanka and setup a Neurology Unit in Kandy and if I stayed behind, I know that I would have advanced that Unit and built it up to a Centre of Excellence. Whether it was that (service) or the knowledge that I would have become a well-known and hopefully well respected Professional in Sri Lanka (personal) is something I really don’t know, perhaps a bit of both.  Secondly, the pride and joy my parents would have experienced to see that happen, but denied to them, bugs me a bit. Pleasing my parents always pleased me too. I don’t dwell on it and it is truly well behind me. It was not a wrong path but a different one. I don’t like looking at the rear-window mirror.  The satisfaction I have with the knowledge that I have succeeded here in the UK as you observed, and my conscious view that I am just one actor in this vast Human stage and my strong secular belief in humanity sans labels, sustains me.

What about your own experience ND?

ND: I joined radiology at the beginning of its computer era and grew up with its rapid advances. The digital age transformed radiology as a profession. I love computers and learnt programming, building websites and image manipulation. I would have preferred to have done a degree in IT and being involved in designing the next generation of MRI and Computer Tomography. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed patient contact and my journey in the caring profession but my heart was elsewhere.

Speedy: I am glad you did and in fact I know you did!

ND: You know Mahen, if I’m given another life I probably would not study medicine. When the time came to select a profession I had little knowledge of what careers were available. There was very little advice from the school and those around me. As I have said before IT would be high on my list. I never knew journalism was a profession and that would be a consideration too. Perhaps financially I wouldn’t have been better off as an IT guy or a journalist. There are many pitfalls being a journalist in Sri Lanka as a few have disappeared into white vans!! Being a journalist in the developed world is tremendously competitive and is pretty hard work. IT is a well-established and well-remunerated profession nowadays.

Speedy: Most interesting. In my case, I never regretted doing Medicine and I suppose I am lucky to feel that way. I can however, share with you what other Profession I might have chosen, if I had a chance to press the rewind button. I would have liked to be an Architect or a Designer of some sort! Creative art, music, constructions in my imagination are so attractive to me. Also being a realist, being and Architect/designer would also have given me a reasonable basic income.

In your case ND, there is no doubt about your literary talents. You write beautifully and have an excellent command of the language. I have no doubt whatsoever that you would have succeeded as a Journalist.

ND: Thank you for your kind words.  In a way I am not surprised by your revelation as you undoubtedly have tremendous artistic talents. In modern parlance a multi talented polymath. With your musical talents you would have reached those dizzy heights.

Speedy: That is praise indeed and I know you well enough to know that you mean it.

ND: Indeed I do. Coming back to Medicine, I found the study of medicine a hard grind. From the GCE until the end of the postgraduate exams I was poring over books. Studying so much and spending so much time seated in a chair indoors is not the youth I wanted. We have just one life to lead. I spent my teenage years studying when I should have been enjoying nature, playing sports, chasing girls and just doodling. I am a born dreamer and would have loved to have spent more time meditating in monasteries, enjoying the freedom of the open spaces and living in a wilderness practicing yoga. Astrology and Palmistry have been in my family for generations. I appreciated its intricate logic and learnt the craft for some time until my medical studies had to take precedence. I loved the good life too and would have enjoyed spending evenings at Donovan Andree’s Coconut Grove jiving and gyrating to his live band. I would have loved to play a musical instrument and be a part of an orchestra or even be in a teenage boy band.

In the bruising 5 years in medical school I was treated like a kid and never enjoyed it. I am a sensitive chap and felt the heat more than most!! As I see it now, there are better ways to learn a trade and earn a living. The path to journalism and IT are much shorter and I could have easily accommodated my other interests, pursuits and fascinations. I don’t feel bitter about the past but now that I’m older and wiser, I realise the career path I chose didn’t suit my psyche. We are asked to choose our careers when we are so young and know basically nothing about them. That’s all in the past. Medicine has given me a decent income and an insight into human life in all its forms and an opportunity to help those in need. I look back a happy man and don’t wish to fan the fumes of discontent. One great advantage in studying medicine is that I now understand my body, how it works and how and why it goes wrong not being totally at the mercy of my GP. It is harder for doctors to fob me off.

Speedy: As you say, it is now all in the past and I am glad you don’t have any bitterness and you recognise and appreciate the plus factors of being a doctor.

ND: Mahen, it is now your turn for a topic.

Speedy: Ok ND, here goes. It is over 50 years since graduation. The "flock" has diverged and diversified and formed a whole new world of contacts and friends. Those with common interests or similar pathways, especially geographic, kept in touch with each other, but did lose contact with many. Our Medical Undergraduate time is in the dim distant past. Bearing this in mind, does the Blog serve a useful purpose?

ND: Indeed, it is hard to believe that 50 years have passed since our dispersal after the finals. The 5 years in the faculty were tough but we formed wonderful friendships. These bonds we made in our youth had a certain closeness which is hard to replicate in later life. This makes the blog invaluable to help bring friends together and also share our life’s experiences. Although we speak of the silent majority, many silently read the blog without commenting. Now the Blog is a part of my life I cannot imagine a world without it. As they say “You Don't Know What You Have Until It's Gone”. There are times I like to take a break from the Blog to return with fresh enthusiasm.

Speedy: It’s nice to hear that ND. I am so happy that I have done my bit to help Lucky maintain the Blog. As for Medical Faculty days, I regard that time as very special. I grew up from a “boy” to a “man” and learnt so much about life and people. I made many friends and keep in touch with a fair number. Although I haven’t kept in touch with some, whenever I meet them so many years later, I just pick up from where we left. That is the beauty of friendship. The Blog has also enabled me to rekindle so many old friendships and to reminisce on those days of a mixed bag of hardship and fun, gives me enormous pleasure. The Blog is now a central part of my life. I do wish more would contribute but then we all have wishes, don’t we!

ND: Mahen, you’ve been a great help to Lucky who has done a marvellous job to keep the batch together. The Blog is now a repository of memories and a wonderful collection of music, art and poetry. It is hard work maintaining a Blog. I manage a website for my old school and know the work involved. They need constant care and attention which is euphemistically called ‘housekeeping’.

I would like to pick up on your thread about patriotism and working in Sri Lanka. We have covered this issue in the past. I belonged to the minority in our batch whose ambition was to be a DMO far from the madding crowd. But unforeseen events in my life changed all that. I don’t feel unpatriotic. Also I’ve done more than the 5 year requirement to work in SL. After I qualified in Radiology I returned to Sri Lanka to speak with the Senior Radiologist in Colombo to ask of the possibilities of joining the health service. He was frank with me and gave me the true picture which didn’t appeal to me. The political turmoil in the country at the time would have discouraged the boldest. I have served humanity in the best way I could. I’m happy the way life has panned out for me.

Speedy: Would you have been happy as a DMO?

ND: Who knows? I could have become an alcoholic like some did or become a famous Director of Health Services. But realistically and most probably I would have ended up somewhere in between. I like these hypothetical questions. It makes me happy about where I am in life now. After all it is happiness we are looking for at this stage of our lives.

I certainly do look back on my life, mostly with joy, as things could have gone horribly wrong but good fortune was on my side. I do miss my friends who grew up with me.There is also my inability to be with my parents in their hour of need. Reneging on my parental obligations bothered and bugged me for years. This too I have come to terms with, calling it the ‘awesome force of destiny’ for want of a better explanation. Destiny is a concept that many dislike. Away from science there are some things that don’t have proof which should not be cast aside as rubbish. We have finite minds and knowledge. Is this the arrogance of the so-called intelligentsia to take the moral high ground? I do respect those who cannot accept my point of view.  This is a general statement and not a personal dig at you, Mahen. I have enormous respect for you as I have said many times on this blog.

Speedy: No worries ND. As I have commented before on the subject of patriotism, I shall only say one thing about it. Do not be judgemental and try and appreciate that the journey of life is a very complex one and that variations in individual circumstances affect decisions we make on so many aspects of our life.

On destiny and fate, you know my views of course and in fact Zita and I had a stab at it in our dialogue. I personally find it very difficult to subscribe to the view that our life events are predetermined.  This implies some sort of extremely potent external Force. Belief in destiny can also stultify your drive and ambition but I would be the first to admit that we really don’t know how many things operate in this Universe and all we can do is to form a view after examining the evidence as we see it. As we mature, we begin to realise the truth of that famous Einstein statement, “The more I learn, the more I realise how much I don't know.”

ND: Very true, and I also noticed that with the passage of years my mind is less malleable than in my youth and I have learnt a lot about myself and about life. It is different in day to day life when we are constantly changing and accommodating.

Speedy: That was a good coffee table chat to be shared with our colleagues. My thanks for joining me ND and I say “long live the Blog”! Let us hope our colleagues enjoy reading this and come out with their own experiences. I am certain it would make fascinating reading.

ND: Thank you for accommodating my views which are rather Bohemian, nonconformist and unconventional. I admire your patience to accept my multiple requests to change and modify the text and image. I enjoyed the dialogue immensely and would recommend my mates to take the plunge without hesitation.