Something lighthearted while sipping a jeroboam of wine.

Sent in by Razaque Ahamat

All of you may have at some point experienced the bloody nuisance  calls known as " Cold Callers".

Here are a few that we had to deal with!!

1.Telephone rang and my wife picked it up and the caller said "Can I speak to Dr.Ahamat"

She replied "He does not live here any more, he has left me"...... I laughed

Caller "who was that laughing? She replied " Oh,That's my toy boy" and put the phone down!!

2..Another time I picked the phone & the caller said "Can I speak to Mrs. Ahamat?"

I replied " Which one, there are SEVEN here. I am a Muslim you know"

Caller " You must be very busy"

Reply "Are you deaf or what? Can't you hear me out of breath & panting"

Got cut off.

3.I picked up the phone.

Caller " Good Day, Sir...... nice and warm today!"

Replied " What do you want?"

Caller " Can I speak to Mrs. Ahamat, please?"

When being polite, one cannot be rude!!

Reply " Oh, being a nice day, she is out GRAZING"

Silly bugger said "When will she be back?"

Replied " At noon, that will be her MILKING TIME!!"

Got cut off.

4. This one is not the 'bloody cold callers'.

I had been very constipated for a few days and had an awful time trying

to deposit it with a lot of 'pushing' & panting. It was very painful indeed.

Coming out of the loo I told my wife "Now I can appreciate what you guys

may be experiencing at child birth"" She glanced at me & grinned!!

Then I went into the garden as usual and did a lot of digging and "did" my back.

Came indoors holding the small of my back and told my wife if she would please

give me a 'rub down' and held the tube of 'Feldene'?????

She said very sternly " You must be joking"!!!

She thought I wanted some medication to my "AHH.. SOUL" applied!!!

I said it was only ' a little bit higher'......to her hilarity!!

She did a grand job of it later anyway... cannot complain.