Blogs, Batch mates – Reminiscing and Reliving
A few changes from the Original post of 23 January 2018
Another year is drawing to a close. Here is something to reflect on.
When Lucky started the Blog, it was an electronic medium to supplement and enhance our Reunions. It has achieved that and much more.
I began to ask myself questions like, “What is the purpose of bringing together people who shared a significant era of their lives but have since drifted apart?”. Some have maintained contact, others haven’t. A lot of water has flown under the bridge, and it is unrealistic to believe that 50 years of eventful life since we were together has not changed us. When we are about to meet a batch fellow after 20 years or more, we are already preconditioned with a mental image of that person as he/she used to be, including the personality, character and even physical appearance. When the meeting happens, the reality is often a bit of a shock and could be pretty disappointing. But very soon, the gap in years seems to melt away. We often hear expressions like, “You haven’t changed at all apart from a few grey hairs and loss of cephalic foliage”.
Interestingly, from that moment, your mental image of the person changes from the stored memory of 50 years ago to that most recent contact. A new relationship arises depending on shared interests, but life often reverts to the familiar. Nothing is wrong or unusual with that, and one must never lose the reality behind it.
We shared 5 years of formative life together in varying degrees of intimacy (some were very intimate!). The intimacy first depended on your surname, which determined your immediate neighbours. There were other groups such as schoolmates and sports and other recreational interests. Within this, close friendships arose and persisted for varying lengths of time depending on circumstances. It is a strange fact that some very close associations made at that time also drifted away slowly to the extent that some were attenuated while others were totally lost. This is perfectly natural. Change after all, is the only permanent variable.
At Reunions, fond hope arose when looking forward to meeting your once close mate. Sometimes, this resulted in disappointment because both parties had changed so much that the meeting was of two very different people who once shared the same spot on Mother Earth.
Reunions and Blog chats are rewarding if one’s expectations are realistic. We are now old enough and mature enough to know where we stand in our Community. Close family and close friends come first, and this centre is surrounded by rings of others according to time, associations, interests and so on. A Batch colleague may be within that circle of close friends but not because he was a batch colleague. That was the start, but what happened between then and now is the determining factor. Human nature is such that we prefer some to others, and we have our own preferences regarding long-term friendships. On the other hand, you may have a very negative image of a person and find it a pleasant surprise to see a very changed person, much more to your liking. New friendships are created and maintained.
In my view, is important to reflect on the fact that there is something we all share, and that is the good fortune to have had a wonderful education in a country with free education. (I would never have been a Doctor without Free Education. My parents had 6 sons and 1 girl!). I don’t think we should ever forget that, and whenever the opportunity arises, we must support our Institutions and, indeed, not wait for opportunities to arise but create them. I hasten not to use the term Patriotism. Being grateful and thankful is a good human characteristic, it has nothing to do with Patriotism which is questionably not a worthy attribute to have when what we need in the World today is Humanism and love for all human beings with as few barriers as possible.
So, my dear friends,
Let us communicate, reminisce, and be aware of our good fortune.
Let us always remember our Teachers, both academic and clinical.
Let us not expect too much when we meet.
Let us accept people as they are and rejoice in our common medical heritage.
Let us help each other in any way we can.
Let us use the Blog to be creative, share our experiences, and rejoice in the successes of our colleagues and families.
Vivat Blog! Long live the Blog!
Footnote: BIRTH OF THE BLOG -WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16, 2011. Created by lucky
Mahendra (Speedy) Gonsalkorale
Great- Thanks speedy 😊
ReplyDeleteI think this comment is from Rohini Ana.Thanks Rohini.
DeleteDear Speedy
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot for your interesting and thought provoking entry. As a member of the organising committee of the very first Batch Reunion in Sri Lanka in 1988 at the Holiday Inn Colombo
( the other members being JC, Sura,, Ganesh and Lucky) I remember what a joy it was to catch up with our batch mates residing in SL,. We had our 25th Anniversary Reunion in 1992 at the Lanka Oberoi.
The first Reunion to include those residing abroad was held in 1997 at the Coal Gardens Hikkaduwa. , and since then we have had Reunions in 2007, 2012 and the last one to mark the 50th Annivetsary of our graduarion in 2017 at Jet Wing Hotel in Negambo.
It is becoming increasingly difficult to organise big reunions now for many reasons - mostly due to Ill Health and the sky rocketing cost of travelling and accommodation!
I must remark that the "boys" in our batch seemed to show evidence of aging much more than the girls. In fact so much so that I was tempted to have a quiz to identify those who had changed almost beyond recognition... the scrawny ones doubling or even trippling their weight, and of course the loss of hair and teeth !!
The girls on the other hand were much more well preserved, being more fashion conscious ( only a handful of us were, during student days.. except for a few exceptions like Swyrie who always looked glamorous!)
I am eternally grateful to Lucky for the creation of the Batch Blog , and to you Speedy for nurturing it over the years.
I echo your thoughts that we have all changed , but thank God our memories linger on . As I once quoted the words of a popular song" Memories don't leave like people do , They always stay with you"
So let's commit to keeping in touch as long as possible... Long live the Blog
Suri
Suri, thanks for your recollections of past batch reunions and the pivotal role you played in their organisation. We are ever so grateful to the organising committees who put so much time and effort into them. I managed to attend quite a few of them and the experience was most enjoyable. The emotions we all experienced are hard to describe. You remarked that the girls managed far better than the boys to retain quite a bit of their physical chaarcteristics and this is very true. Some change was inevitable but recognitiomn was not a problem, unlike in some boys who were virtually unrecognisable (physically but when they opened their mouths and spoke, memories were rekindled. In general terms, females are more concerned with the identity they portray to the external world than the male of the species!
DeleteLike you, I have said this many times before and I shall say it again, I am grateful to dear Lucky for his initiative in creating the blog, which I am very happy to maintain.
It's Suri again
ReplyDeleteI missed out on stating how grateful I am to my beloved country for free education.... I was one of 5 siblings and had it not been free, my parents
( both teachers by profession) would not have been able to afford it . As it was 4 of us were in the Uni at the same time.. 3 in Pera and myself in Colombo and it was a financial strain.
One of the reasons I returned home was that I wanted to give back my service ( even though having completed my HPT and SR at Kings I had a very good chance of securing a Consultant Post in the UK.
I would like to echo what Suriyakanthi has mentioned regarding free education. Although I have many qualifications after my name, the most important examination I passed is not listed which is the University entrance examination. If I did not pass it, I would have ended up as a paramedic.
ReplyDeleteSanath, I could not agree with you more. Success at The University Entrance Examination made us who we are today. For this I must thank my school, Wesley College Colombo, and my teachers in the 6th form as I never had to take extra tuition and was successful at the first attempt.
DeleteSuri and Sanath. We are all agreed on the immense debt we owe to Mother Lanka. Personally, I prefer not to use the term "debt" as it does not really capture the spirit of our recognition. Debt is not a good word, I would rather think of recognition and appreciation of a beneficial act with or without "debt" which requitres repayment. Good acts are done because they are intrinsically good, without any expectations. I despair some of my friends who say they owe me a debt for something good I have done to them and till it is "repaid", they are unhappy and some of them beleive it or not pester me, not quite realisin g that they are giving themselves away! I know I am being a bit pedantic and we all generally understand when the word debt is used in this context.
DeleteI agree with you Speedy that "debt " is not a good word. Please note that I did not use
DeleteIt in my comment. I used the word gratitude .
As Nihal has commented, I'm also very grateful to my teachers at Methodist College. I did not have to attend any tution classes.But I do recall that Mr Samuel who was the Physics teacher at Royal ( he must have taught you) volunteered to give us girls some extra coaching as his daughter Sylvia attended Metho.
Suri
Of course Suri. You did not use the word "debt". Gratitude or appreciation are much better.
DeleteI do remember Mr Samuel. He always wore that funny bush shirt with a "waistband" and flaps. He was very fond of old cars. He was a very good teacher but I wouldn't rate him very high on intellectual abilities. I remember his using a worked example from a physics book to illustrate a point. He would pause, look up at the celing and start to formulate the question as if it was his own. We later found that they were from Nelkon's book! Nelkon wrote a one volume book on Phycics which was the standard to be used by us. But some of us knew that he had written separate volumes on sub branches such as Light, Heat, Sound etc. Samuel used these volumes thinking we were unaware of their existence.
I think the poor chap lost his beloved car (a baby Austin 7?) which I think was set on fire during the riots. I think I am right but Lama may correct me if I am wrong.
Sanath Lamabadusuriya
ReplyDeleteThis is my 55th year of academic paediatrics and I am still going strong.Today I am in Ratnapura examining at the Final MBBS examination of the first batch of Sabaragamuwa medical students
ReplyDeleteHi Sanath, why are you "Anonymous" all of a sudden?
DeleteThanks Mahen for the philosophical and also nostalgic piece written with such honesty. I have always felt a certain closeness when I see or communicate with those from our batch. Although our coming together was by chance, it was a long 5 years. We had 150+ students in our batch and it was near impossible to be good friends with all, still there was a rapport and a closeness between us all which is hard to reason, explain or describe.
ReplyDeleteThere are times I still think of those who simply disappeared from contact after the great dispersal of 1967. Some of them were very close to me like KLMT De Silva. I wish them all well and hope they have had rewarding professional lives and continues to enjoy this wonderful world.
I have never been to any of the Reunions in Sri Lanka, which I do regret now, but met many at the batch reunion in London circa 1993/4 and also at the mini reunions in London.
With the passage of years as travel becomes difficult, huge reunions of the type enjoyed in the past may not be possible to organise and also to attend. Social media, emails and our Batch-Blog will remain our main sources of contact. For the Blog we will be forever grateful to Mahen and Lucky. Now the onus is on us to keep the blog alive by visiting, contributing and commenting, leaving the last of us to leave this planet to switch off the lights.
Thanks again for your frank and personal view Nihal. We always missed your presence at Reunions but this is more our loss than yours. I love the term "The Great Dispersal of 1967"! This sounds like a great Title for a book to be authored by you on the subject (says I more in hope). The book can then become a great cinema production!
DeleteAs for me, I always regard the transition period from innocent Boy to a more mature Man , which happened when I entered and left Medical school as a vital and transformative period in my life which now strtetches to 80 years, a mere blip in the life of Homo Sapiens around 300,000 years! Time is so fascinating, isn't it! My 80+ is nothing compared to the oldest known tree, The oldest living tree in the world is Methuselah, a Great Basin bristlecone pine (Pinus longaeva) that's estimated to be between 4,800 and 5,000 years old. On the other hand, 80 years is massive compared to the Mayfly who lives only a couple of days. It is a good thing that Mayflys do not have reunions!
Mahen, thank you for re-posting this thought provoking essay. The blog is a "Tribute to Friendship" don't you think? I have a question; when exactly did Lucky start this? I think it was quite a few years after he started it that I joined in, and made occasional contributions. And it was because of the blog, that I reconnected with Rohini Ana and Nihal, since they didn't show up at our Sri Lankan reunions! Now that traveling long distances is too much of a hassle for us, I think the blog is an absolute necessity to keep in touch with friends/ batch mates who don't live near each other. Maintaining a friendship requires effort, an occasional phone call, an email or even just a text. I am fortunate that I manage to meet quite a few people who live in Sri Lanka when I visit Colombo. I have found, however, that very often one can pick up a long term friendship without much ado, when the roots are deep; like the friends one has known since kindergarten days. The same is becoming true for our batch mates because we've known each other for over 60 years! Long live friendship and long live the Blog. Cheers to Lucky who started it all and to Mahen who keeps the flame burning.
ReplyDeleteNice to see you on the Blog- no surpise of course. The Blog was started in March 2011 by Lucky- (aren't we lucky!). Please click on the tab "Archive" to see details. It was part of the preparations for the 50th anniversary celebrations.
DeleteI would like to share a few quotes:
ReplyDelete"It is paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone." Andy Rooney.
"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age." Sophia Loren.
Great quotes! A few more:- Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter - Leroy “Satchel” Paige, "
DeleteAging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength,
“Age is not a barrier to success; it’s a ladder to wisdom.” – Unknown,
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis,
“A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.” – Greek Proverb
Mahen
ReplyDeleteThe “Great Dispersal of 1967” indeed was a scattering of our batch. It brings back many memories of our final day as medical students. Universities are places of endemic change. Every year new students join and those who have left go farther on life's journey. As all good things must come to an end so did our sojourn in medical school. Those five gruelling years brought us closer together. Perils and pitfalls and the blissful euphoria of those years are long remembered. When the final year results were posted we congregated in the common room, the lobby and the canteen to say our goodbyes. I recall the warmth of feeling that day and the sadness that followed as we left the premises. For some it was my last goodbye as I never saw many of them again.
The more I see "The Great Dispersal of 1967", the more I like it as a title for a book! How about it Nhal!
DeleteMahen
DeleteWith all humility, my memories of the faculty years and later are now carefully archived in the Blog. It is a topic that would interest our batch and no one else. So for those interested they can use its search facility as you have most kindly showed them on many occasions.
There are many who have contributed wonderful articles, some sad and some humorous, which are all in the blog. The Blog indeed is a superb archive of everything about our batch and also of the faculty and its staff.
It was just a thought as you are such an expert writer!
DeleteThanks Mahen. I'm just a writer like everyone else who has written so elegantly to light up this blog with our memories. Your input is colossal and long may it continue..
DeleteTo change the subject and to return to those whom we have lost to contact. After the Great Dispersal I just wonder why we have lost them. Have we tried hard enough. There are so many ways to trace and find. Or has too much water passed under the bridge now and it is best to accept the loss.
In the distant 1960’s men and women didn’t mix so freely as now. Even in the medical faculty in Colombo girls and boys didn’t mix as they do now. Hence I never got a chance to speak with the girls and be friends except for a very few from my end of the alphabet.
ReplyDeleteIn those days feminism was a profanity. Although called a common room it was common only to men. Women were not officially barred but whenever they arrived there were wolf whistles and cat-calls reminding them plainly and unequivocally it was a men only area. I have witnessed this spectacle with many girls running away in extreme embarrassment. Girls were often seen in the canteen with their friends and partners.
I got to know many of the girls of our batch after I emigrated to the UK. I found them to be lovely people and regretted very much not getting to know them earlier. The first I spoke with Zita Perera was at a restaurant near Oxford Street in London in 2016 with her husband and also Mahendra G. Sadly we didn’t have long to remain friends.
I am certain things have changed in the pearl of the Indian Ocean as it has worldwide.
Mahendra
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for the late comment as I have been very busy and had not visited the Blog.
I enjoyed reading your interesting article and the comments.
Though we were together for five years, we were scattered all over the globe after we passed out.
It is a goodthing we had several batch reunions and get togethers which kept us close together.
We should be thankful to Lucky for initiating our batch Blog and to you for keeping it alive.
In addition we have our local whatsapp and London whatapp group to keep us together.
It is interesting for us to get to know about our batchmates by reunions etc.
Let us support the Blog to keep it alive.
Long live our Blog !
Chira