Nuggets of Humour from Shehan Karunatilleka’s book, “Seven Moons of Maali Almeida”
An interesting
contribution from Srianee (Bunter ) Dias
Hello Mahen,
I was recently attempting to organize my “stuff” and came across a notebook in which I had collected ’nuggets' from the “Seven Moons of Maali Almeida” while I was reading it a few years ago. Many of them refer to Sri Lanka! While it was not a humorous book, in the midst of this rather gory story, nuggets of humour emerged. Later, I was in attendance at a couple of the Literary Festivals in Galle and Colombo in January 2024 when Shehan Karunatilleka was interviewed. I found that he was a warm human being with a very quirky sense of humour. I think our friends may enjoy my collection.
Srianee
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The afterlife is like a tax office. Everyone
is waiting for a rebate
He
was still a perfect 10 on scale of 1-13
Look at our flag. What an achaaru! It has
everything. Horizontal lines, vertical lines, animal symbols…
Everyone
should pray to Whoever. Then no one gets offended.
All stories are recycled and all stories are
unfair. Many get luck, and many get misery. Many are born to homes
with books, many grow up in the swamps of war. In the end, all become
dust. All stories conclude with a fade to black.
You
are thinking of that most impossible of all mythical creatures: The Honest
Politician.
(I came across a
similar one- “Trying to find an honest politician is like trying to find a virgin
in a brothel!” )
You forget what you want to remember and you
remember what you want to forget.
At
least death frees you from Galle Road traffic, Parliament Road drivers and
checkpoints on every street.
As if our betel chewing fools go to dentists.
Facts
from the Reader’s Digest might be the last thing the brain lets go of.
I make what all the millionaires do not - enough!
The
pain (headache) is your stupidity trying to escape.
Like many Sri Lankans pangolins have big tongues,
thick hides and small brains.
Kola
kenda, the green medicinal porridge with the consistency of vomit…
Humans believe they make their own thoughts and
possess their own will. This is yet another placebo that we swallow after
birth. Thoughts are whispers that come from without as well as within.
This
island is a beautiful place despite being filled with fools and savages.
Thank you very much Srianee for your contribution. Shehan is the son of Chanaka Wijesekera's (our batchmate) sister who is married to Percy Karunatilleke (Peradeniya alumnus and a specialist in Gyn and Obs) Many years ago Chanaka contacted me regarding a medical problem that Shehan's child had and I saw them at the Nawaloka Hospital. Chanaka is married to Rohini Anandaraja's (nee Senaratne) sister.
ReplyDeleteSanath, as they say, it is a small world! Fancy finding ci=onnections with two batchmaates!
ReplyDeleteThe text is so funny and at the same time, some of them are quite serious although still funny. Thanks to Srianee for sending them. I triedto make it easier to read them by changing the font and spacing.
Just a reminder that without humour and wit, the workd will be a dull place!
By the way, have you noticed the new buzz words? Change- reset- being used over and over again. Also everything is either massive, huge, incredible , or super (prefix-such as supersoft,supercool , superstrong etc,-- absolutely!
Mahen, thanks for the accompanying cartoon. Talking about humor and wit, whatever happened to Bora's Banter?
DeleteHi Srianee, Chira and Mahen
DeleteEnjoyed your post, thank you.Sri lankans do have a good sense of humour.
Bora's Banter was based on true incidents( not confabulations) during our student days, spiced up with a touch of spin.The supply is therefore limited and currently I am left with a few unpublishable tales.
I managed to pick up three Colombo med faculty stories, from our junior batches, hope you appreciate the humour.
During one of Dr Niles's ward rounds, he paused and asked the students to introduce themselves one by one. One of the "chronias" in the group very confidently said, "Sir I am Sri Reganathan". The surgeon promptly replied "Oh no.You don't look as if you are from the "SRI" series, you must be a CE or CY.
At a surgical viva the examiner displayed a long ,wide bore tube(Naso gastic tube) and asked the candidate in what situation will you use this.The female student, thought for awhile and replied, to catheterise a man with retention and unable to pass water.The surprised surgeon asked the girl whether she was married. The shy girl replied, "no sir".In that case ,you will be disappointed during your honeymoon.
Not sure whether the third story is suitable for the BLOG.
Bora, thank you for contributing these two funny stories.. You have a great knack of relating these stories well. Even though you have run out past material, I'm sure if you keep your eyes and ears open you will come up with new material, about life in general.
DeleteHi Bora
DeleteYour banter in the Blog has always been a crowd puller. As the stories you have been involved with personally have dried up do send us other stories you've heard which you may think are appropriate. As its always said "laughter is the best medicine"
Srianee and Nihal
DeleteThanks for your encouraging comments and glad you found the stories funny. Shall keep my eyes and ears open..
So, what do you think? So, why not comment? So, how about another srory? So.... So.... So....
ReplyDeleteSanath, yes I am well aware of the connections! In fact, when Shehan K won the Booker Prize I sent Chanaka a note congratulating the family and Shehan. I received a gracious reply from Chanaka, which was lovely. He and Srinika Jayaratne were my classmates at Ladies' College in the lower grades. Too bad that they had to transfer to a far less prestigious school later on (HaHa!)
ReplyDeleteSrianee
ReplyDeleteThank you for that wonderful collection of thoughtful and thought provoking gems. Although much of it is good common sense we have known all our lives a collection of gems is always more elegant, smart and ingenious than a solitary one and do make a stylish necklace.
Mocking, deriding and teasing the defective aspects of our own culture indeed helps to re-evaluate them.
A brilliant collection of gems.
Agree with your sentiments Nihal. Commin sense needs reviving from time to time
DeleteNihal and Mahen, I think Sri Lankans have a rather endearing talent for laughing at themselves. In times of crisis they have been known to compose bailas and other songs about the situation, their politicians and other public figures. I can't think of a particular song, but I'm sure Mahen will! Sri Lankans have a great sense of humor. I think it is a national trait!
DeleteNihal, I'm glad you enjoyed "the necklace" I made!
Srianee
DeleteSunil Perera and the Gypsies produced a very popular baila / song called "Seniore".It was about a Sri Lankan MP who contested the elections and lost so badly that he lost his deposit.
As schoolboys we used to sing bailas about Sir John, Daha and Banda.
Bora, I am not familiar with those bailas, or they have escaped from my memory bank! I will watch out for them on my next visit to the motherland. (BTW, why are some countries referred to as "Fatherland" and others as "Motherland?")
DeleteSrianee
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for your ' Wit and humour'. We need guite a lot of these as most of us have retired from work and enjoy life with humour and laughter. After all ' Laughter is the best medicine'.
I think we need Bora to continue with his banter. How about it Bora ?
Responses are poor these days that I didn't want to continue with my 2nd instalment of paintings of Butterflies and Moths. With the encouraging comments I decided to do the 2nd and the 3rd instalments. I will stop painting after these. Upto now 180 paintings of mine have been published by Mahendra. I think it is more than enough.I hope to do some embroidery.
It is upto Mahendra, Nihal, Srianee, Lama, Suri, Bora and others to keep the Blog alive with their contributions.
Long live our Blog !
Chira
Your support is much appreciated Chira. It is entirely up to you one how many posts you like to submit to the blog with your beautiful paintings which are appreciated by so many, much more than you can guage from Blog comments. So long as you enjoy doing them, I am always happy to post them for the enjoyment and appreciation of colleagues.
DeleteChira, I definitely agree with what Mahen has written. You should continue your art work for your own pleasure. Whether or not you post them on the blog is entirely up to you. Regardless of the number of comments they get, they are beautiful. Keep doing what you enjoy! Your loyalty to the blog is much appreciated.
DeleteSrianee, Chanaka entered RC from STC Prep. Kollupitiya . Nalin Wadugodapitiya whose father was the Commissioner of Excise also entered RC from LC. Siri Jayaratne, Chanaka and Nalin were with me at RC from 1954 onwards. Siri was an excellent cricketer; he was the wicket keeper . In our Big Match in 1962 he created a record by accounting for six victims ( five caught and one stumped)., in the first Innings and one caught and one stumped in the second innings. That record is not broken as yet.
ReplyDeleteHe emigrated to the US and specialised in a field related to ophthalmology, although he was not a medic. He retired as a Professor.
You have encylopaedic knowledge on people and their connections Sanath!
DeleteSanath, a correction about Siri Jayaratne: He was a Professor of Social Work at the University of Michigan until he retired recently. (He has published extensively in that field). I met his brother Ajit and sister Preethi during my visit to Sri Lanka last January. They told me that he had recently moved to California. To add to your vast knowledge of "connections" Ajit Jayaratne is married to Sanan Gunesekera's sister. Sanan's son is married to my niece (my brother's daughter). By Sri Lankan standards does this mean I am now related to Siri Jayaratne?! I plan on getting in touch with Siri Jayaratne one of these days. He was with us at LC until Grade 5.
DeleteThank you very much Srianee for the update, Sanan was two years senior to me in school, but later I caught up with him,
ReplyDeleteIn December 1959, the Historical Association of RC organised a tour of India. Sanan, Sidath Jayanetti, Ken Balaendra, Anura Rajapakse, Lalith Senanayake and about 25 other students and two teachers were members of the group. We boarded a train at the Fort Railway station, travelled to Talaimannar and went to Dhanushkodi by ferry. Later we went to Madras, Calcutta, New Delhi, Saranath, Buddhagaya and Agra by train. One railway carriage was reserved for us. About two weeks later we returned to the Fort station. We stayed in schools, reciprocating the hospitality we provided for Indian students when they visited Ceylon. The trip cost us about Rs. 200.00 each and pocket expenses about another similar amount of money. The parity rate with the Indian rupee was on par at that time.
It happened to be my first trip abroad and I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Srianee, Jayalath Pedris also entered RC from LC in 1954
ReplyDeleteI remember Jayalath very well. Another former classmate was Vijaya Corea who later went to STC. I recently met him at a Thomian gathering.
DeleteHi Chira, This is Suri
ReplyDeleteWhat can I say.... I am at a loss for words .... You take my breath away at the intricacy and delicacy of your paintings with the gorgeous colour mix Keep it up. Apart from keeping you occupied it certainly adds beauty and colour to our blog.
Please convey my congratulations to your daughter for her success at the exam. Have a great holiday in UK !.
Suriyakanthi, good message but wrong post!
ReplyDeleteSorry 😐 Suri
DeleteHi Bunter,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your entry "Nuggets of humour" from Shehan Karunatillaka' s award winning book " Seven moons of Mali Almeda". I have a copy of it and I did enjoy Shehan's quirky humour .
I know Shehan rather well as he is a close buddy of my son Shaan. They have a band called " The Power Cut Circus" and enjoy composing and playing original music together.Shehan s daughter is the best friend of my twin granddaughters daughters,so we keep meeting at B day parties, School functions etc.
Shehan is a lovely chap not at all swollen headed because of his literary genius - winning the Gratian Award for The Chinaman earlier and the prestigious Booker Award more recently.
You are correct in saying that we Sri Lankans have the gift of being able to laugh at ourselves .. a very necessary skill if we are to keep our sanity in these crazy days.
Can I jog your memory about the Baila about Sir. John?? It starts
" Joong mama Kandawela watte
Ay mane nandek natte?
I remember a true incident about Sir John. When Queen Elizabeth visited Sri Lanka, they went to Sigiriya. While climbing the Queens dress was blown up by the wind. Sir John had shouted to the photographer " ganing ikmanata ganing !
Suri
Hi Bora .
ReplyDeleteThank you for your real life jokes.
If I may be permitted to add two funny incidents relating to our batch.
We were descending down the stairs in the Path block after a Parasitology lecture on Scabies
One male student ( I think it was Patas) was overheard remarking to his female companion
" If we hold hands we get Scabies
If we bite we get Rabies
If we sleep we get babies
So what can we do ????
Another one I remember from Dr Niles' Ward Class
He was teaching us what we should and should not do in a stab wound of the abdomen.
He enacted the Court Room scene where you are called as an expert witness.
The Counsel for the defence keeps questioning you and keeps asking so what did you do then? Did you probe the wound doctor ?
When you reluctantly admit that you did probe the wound, the Counsel turns to the judge and says " My Lord I put it to yiu that this doctor probed the stab wound , and converted a non penetrating wound to a penetrating wound and my client is innocent !
So they release the accused and charge you for the murder !!
We never forgot that lesson
Suri
Suri, thank you for contributing your funny stories for us to enjoy! You do remember and relate them well. Personally, I am a terrible 'joke teller' because I always seem to bungle the punch line or forget some other crucial detail.
ReplyDeleteThank you also for sharing details about Shehan K. I knew that he is your son's friend. He definitely comes across as a down to earth guy and I hope he remains that way. When I saw him being interviewed, the interviewer, who was Savithri Rodrigo (I hope I remembered her name correctly) teased him a bit and asked him "I heard that you broke protocol and hugged Queen Camilla when she awarded you the Booker Prize?" His reply was " You know, in Sri Lanka when an aunty gives you a gift, you give them a hug!" Then he quickly added "But she hugged me first!" I hope to read more of his stories in the future. Sri Lanka should be very proud of him.