REMEMBERING OUR FRIENDS ON REMEMBRANCE DAY
Srianee Dias
I have spent the last hour or so reading through the posts on the blog in honor of Remembrance Day. It is wonderful to share these anecdotes and memories of our departed friends, but I feel there is something more that we should be doing.
When we entered Medical College in 1962, there were 167 of us (some
joined later from Peradeniya). We were
‘half-grown’ humans, some extroverted and more skilful at making friends,
others introverted and shy. Obviously,
with a class that large it was not possible to make the acquaintance of
everyone.
During the 5 years that we spent together, some of us grew close. Two of our now departed friends sat on either
side of me, Ganesh and J.C. After
graduation, our paths diverged, and we spread out to do our internships. Those of us who spent time together during
that year probably forged stronger bonds.
We also made new friends and entered into new relationships. We tried to keep up with some of our batch
mates, but life, work, marriage and children kept us preoccupied.
My life’s path took me to Brooklyn, NY, where some of my batchmates also
ended up. Some of our now-departed
friends were with me in the same city; Sunna, Satchi, Kitha, Russell, Dawn and
Lucky Weerasooriya. Again, our paths
diverged. Sunna kept in touch, until his
shocking and heartbreaking death. Kitha
moved to California before his untimely demise.
Russell and Dawn pulled away from their friends until their tragic
end. Lucky W and Satchi, along with
their families, kept in touch with me until they became ill.
I was able to reconnect with those who
moved to the UK at our 1992 reunion. Some
of them are no longer with us; Zita, Razaque, Manohari and Suren Iyer, to name a
few.
Thanks to the reunions and my visits to Colombo, my path crossed again
with some of my batch mates who are no longer with us; Kamali, (who I saw after
many years), Priya G, Anna Ponnambalam, H.N Wickramasinghe, Ganesh and J.C. to
name a few.
I reconnected with Sue Ratnavale at a pathology conference after many
years and then stayed in close touch until her death.
Our paths crisscross with friends in a way that is beyond our
control. Staying in touch requires effort,
although now it is easier, with emails and WhatsApp.
We have lost 49 out of 167 batchmates over the course of 50 years. That means there are 118 of us floating
around the Universe! As we take the time
to remember and honour our departed friends, we also need to remember those who
are still around.
Some of us make an effort to comment on the blog, which is a wonderful
way to stay in touch, and we should do our best to continue doing so. But not everyone is ‘tech-savvy.’ Many are
battling illnesses and are unable to attend the mini-reunions that pop up now
and then in Colombo or London.
Here is my suggestion: If there is a friend with whom you have shared a special experience, or if you have a
fond memory of someone, or if you know that someone is not well, reach out to
them.
You will make their day!
Thank you Srianee. This might interest you, something I did in 2020 and posted on the Blog. It is a kind f suervy of users.
ReplyDeleteHere is the link:
https://colombomedgrads1962.blogspot.com/2020/11/speedygroup-interview-about-our-blog.html#comment-form
Hi Bunter
DeleteThank you very much for your brilliant suggestion of trying to reconnect with at least one batchmate you were close to during student days but have lost contact, due to pressure of commitmens to family or career physical distancing, ill health, or any other cause
I must confess that though I had plans I to reconnect with Shirlene Ramanadan. when I was trying to muster a crowd for the Golden Jubilee CelIebration of our Graduation.. Though I did give her a couple of calls didn't follow. it up with a visit. Your post has made me feel guilty as I found out that Shirlene is has been affected badly with crippling arthritis, resulting in very little mobility. , I will try my best to visit her and keep in touch. Bless you for your compassionate suggestion. I hope others too will take you the challenge.
Suri
Suri, I am happy to hear that you think this is a good idea! I have good friends (not just from Medical College) who have 'disconnected' for want of a better word. Sometimes I write their names down on a piece of paper and leave it near my computer to remind me to do something about it.
DeleteUnfortunately, the fear instilled by COVID restrictions have made the introverts even more reclusive.
Perhaps when I get out there again in January 2024, God willing (It is almost June now!) we could team up and visit some of these people, including Shirlene. You are still brave enough to navigate the streets of Colombo!
About a year ago I sent an email to Chanaka W. who was my classmate at Ladies' College in the lower grades. We didn't have much contact while we were in Medical College because of the "tyranny of the alphabet" as Nihal put it. He is also a quiet and reserved person. I was rewarded with a really warm response. You just never know!
Srianee
ReplyDeleteThank you for your write-up. There are many with whom we have lost contact completely. AEJ Doss, and Lady Anandappa are two of them that came to mind easily being at my end of the alphabet. I hope we all will try and contact those "souls", better late than never!!!
A few more I have failed to trace. If you click on the Batch Directory tab on the home page and that tells you where mates are classified according to country and there is also a list of thise who have passed away
DeleteNihal and Mahen, I have often wondered what happened to Doss, who sat two seats away from me. He just simply disappeared! I think those of us who are able to make the effort, should try to contact some batch mates in the next few months.
DeleteSrianee
DeleteAround 1969 I was MO/OPD at Kurunegala. I dabbled with forensic medicine and was acting JMO occasionally. Once I had to attend a court case in Puttalam. In court I met a doctor who told me that Dr Doss was a GP in Puttalam. It was a busy day and I didnt have the time to see him. Many years later when I enquired I was told he has moved on. I know he had a brother too who was a doctor much senior to him.
Srianee and Mahen
ReplyDeleteThere was a bright chap in our batch who had albinism. He was a Perera and the first name may be Wimal. He too is lost to our radar. He had a brother who was a tutor in the faculty.
Wimal eas traced to the USA Canada group but I have no idea where he is now. Would love to know
ReplyDeleteDear Srianee,
ReplyDeleteYou have highlighted the obvious but almost anonymous fact that the majority of our colleagues from the year of 1962 are still around. Perhaps we should have a day of remembrance for the living.; highlighting what we’re upto. Many of us are probably still doing interesting and worthwhile things.Some of my friends, instead of posting Christmas cards send a report of what they and their families have been upto during the year.
Mahen something for you to ponder. Also perhaps emailing links of the blog posts to our silent colleagues.This may trigger some responses even if brief.Shanthy Edwards née Nalliah has just written that she like most is a good talker but not a writer!!!
I have been keeping in touch with some of the reticent ones like Manil Katugampola née Hettiarachchi and Lakshmi Chellappa. I will attempt gentle persuasion to get them involved; also perhaps some of the colleagues living down under.
Kumar
Kumar, you just gave me an idea and I hope others think that it is worth following up. We've all got accustomed to Zoom meetings during COVID restrictions. Personally I am not a fan, but there are times when it is a necessity. How about organizing a virtual reunion on Zoom? It will be a challenge to figure out a good time considering that our mates live in different time zones. I think such an event would make it worthwhile staying up late or waking up early. Then even people like Shanthy, who are reluctant to write comments on the blog can join in.
DeleteI think Mahen is technical savvy enough to navigate the logistics of doing this.
Is there a limit to the number of people who can join a Zoom meeting?
Srianee and Kumar, we did have a zoom in August 2020. It was proposed by Rajan and I played a part in making it happen. I am not sure how many participated. I think I did a post on it on the Blog. Shall check
ReplyDeleteIf you type zoom on the search bar you will find it. We had two zoom sessions.
ReplyDeleteI was inn Australia in March and had a chance to meet up with Sanath Tissera. He like most of us has got older and like some of us has some health issues. He and Cecil Saverimuthu were quite close and remembered him fondly. Some of us on California are planning a lunch in the next few weeks hopefully this will work. Maybe another Zoom is worth exploring.
ReplyDeletePatas