Wednesday, July 17, 2019

The two years that changed my life


By Dr Nihal D Amerasekera

In 1958 my father moved to Kolonnawa. We could see the Government Factory from our verandah. The factory chimneys spewed smoke all day and all night. We lived constantly under this cloud of pollutants. At the edge of our property was a tall perimeter fence of the Kolonnawa Oil Installation. For 3 years we lived next to this ‘time bomb’ which could ignite any minute with devastating consequences. In those days we believed the Government was trustworthy and worked for the benefit of the people. We’ve been let down so many times.

After 10 long years at school I had reached the top of the pile. I was now a 6th former and a prefect with all its trappings of prestige and privileges. On a cold January morning I climbed the wooden stairs by the Physics lab. At the top there was the unmistakable pungent smell of acids and alkalis wafting from the Chemistry lab. Down 2 steps and I was on the corridor leading to the Biology lab where the acrid smell of formalin greeted me. This was to be my domain for a formidable and forbidding 2 years.

The time between 1960 and 1962 was a crucial period in my life when I was engulfed by darkness and despair. It is a weird experience to allow those years to flash before my eyes.Then I was a pimple faced, self-conscious teenager with raging hormones chasing my dream to become a doctor. Soon after I had overcome the challenges of a plethora of subjects at the O-levels, I was thrust into the 6th form to sit for the most competitive exam of my life. During those 2 years all I saw were the laboratories, classrooms and the fragile landscape of the 4 walls of my bedroom.This also became my study. I have often worked deep into the night going on until I heard a lone cockerel heralding the dawn.

I grew up in a loving family. In the best traditions of good parenthood they made me eminently aware of the struggles of life. They also impressed on me that my future lay in my own hands.There was no huge inheritance to receive. I recall their advice with genuine and touching affection. I embarked on my perilous journey with the acquired stoicism of my father’s tough upbringing and the inherited steely competitiveness of my mother’s Kandyan ancestry. The great and the good persuaded me that the hardships endured to pursue a career in medicine was a worthwhile goal with rich rewards.

I embarked on my journey mindful of the tough times ahead.On looking back I couldn’t describe my feelings better than Charles Dickens in ‘A Tale of Two Cities’:
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

I offered Botany, Zoology, Physics and Chemistry for the examination. The syllabuses were huge and the task simply monumental. Each of the subjects had a theory paper and a practical examination conducted by the University of Ceylon. The examination was held at the end of the year with the results posted to the candidates around April time the following year. The successful candidates were called for a Viva Voce examination held at the University at Reid Avenue. There was a Medical School in Colombo and another at Peradeniya. The total intake was 300 students per year. To say the entry into the medical schools was fiercely competitive is a gross understatement.

The examination papers were the same for all the students but the practical exam was a lottery when some had an easier time than others. The teaching and the facilities provided by the schools varied immensely.Hence the examination was not on a level playing field. This resulted in a thriving private tuition industry. Tuition soon became regarded as a vital prerequisite for a successful outcome. Teaching students at weekends and evenings the tutors became widely known, respected and revered. They earned a small fortune on tuition. Although I would have benefited enormously from private tuition,with my demanding and strenuous regime of study I just couldn’t find the hours in the day to fit them in. This indeed dented my confidence somewhat. I took every opportunity to speak with those who had been successful in previous years to learn the shrewd tricks and the essential do’s and don’ts.

My bedroom had a large window. As I pored over my books this was my only contact with the outside world. I could hear the birds sing all day. The sun came streaming in the evening. The noise of the children playing at the bottom of the road brought some life into my soul.  Buxom ladies gossiped and sang while having a bath at the communal well. I was loathed to shut the window even as the monsoon rains lashed the glass pane not wanting to lose my world beyond.

Meanwhile, outside my bubble, there was a vibrant world of teenage fun. It was indeed the swinging sixties. There were parties at weekends with the luxury of drinks and dancing. Mini-skirts were the craze and we all craved for the company of girls. Some went on trips to the beach and visited the cinema. The fun continued at a furious pace by those studying the arts and sciences and also by a few bold aspiring medics. I’ve always been an avid follower of school cricket but sadly this wasn’t possible now. I loved music and listened to the radio in short bursts while my collection of 45 RPM vinyl records gathered dust. These pleasures were sacrificed hoping for better times ahead. I was eminently aware of the wisdom of the age-old proverb “There is many a slip between the cup and the lip”.

I worked tremendously hard in those two years to give it my best shot. The examination came and went like a tornado. I was never one to be satisfied of my performance at examinations, but was delighted that it was all over at least for now. I slowly slipped back in to the calm and lazy life I was used to enjoying school cricket at weekends, visiting family and friends and going to the cinema. Once again loud music filled our home.

Time soon passed. I was pleasantly surprised to receive a letter from the University asking me to present myself for the Viva Voce examination.This was held at the Senate Room of the University. It was a nerve-wracking experience. Seated around a polished wooden table in a poorly lit room were half a dozen grumpy elderly academics. As I walked in they observed me intently and fired a barrage of questions. They were polite but poker faced all through my ordeal. I was so pleased to be released into the afternoon sun.

My debut performance was a success. By the end of the challenge I was physically and mentally exhausted. I found this a most remarkable achievement against all the odds. I thank my parents for their encouragement, love and wise counsel. This wouldn’t have been ever possible without the dedication of my teachers and the inclusive all-round education at Wesley College, Colombo.

I recall most vividly the euphoria on being a doctor in 1967. I dreamed it was a passport to fame and fortune. There was such a great sense of myopic optimism, I lost myself in the adulation. Life always has ways to bring us back to reality!!

I spent a marathon of 40 years in medicine. Time did pass swiftly and relentlessly. Then I looked forward to retirement with the same excitement and euphoria as to the beginning of my career. It is devastating to give up the profession knowing how hard I’ve worked to achieve my youthful aspiration. I left the medical profession with a heavy heart but also happy to be free again. Life is better without the night calls and the onerous routines of a hospital doctor. The long years of toil has taken its toll but I have emerged more philosophical, having witnessed the spectrum of human life from cradle to grave.

In the calm of my retirement I continue to embrace all that life has to offer: family, my passion for sport, music and support for my burgeoning interest in technology. Still there is a part of me that harks back to the times passed. Despite the good life I’ve enjoyed thus far, there is a vague sense of yearning for those two teenage years lost when I was in solitary confinement, burning the midnight oil and being a prisoner of conscience to those grandiose and extravagant ambitions of my youth. As I convey my sense of disillusion of those years, I now wonder how on earth I coped with it all so young. It also gives me a tremendous sense of achievement and accomplishment.

15 comments:

  1. Nihal, Thank you for this candid account of two years of your life- so well written- it was a joy to read even a second time !
    You have reaped what you sowed -well done.

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  2. Rohini
    Thank you for the comment. As I have said before there was so little advice on careers at school. That was the way in the mid 20th century. Thankfully it is different now. It is lovely to relive those times as things worked out well for me.

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  4. A wonderful and nostalgic account in the usual “ND” style we have got accustomed to and appreciate so much. It is inevitable to live through one’s own experience and recall the various elements that contributed to your own success such as parental guidance and influence, hard work, sacrifices, seemingly endless study, tenacity and self belief which ultimately bore fruit. Of all these, I would single out the love and guidance given by my father and mother as the most crucial.i cannot thank them enough

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  5. Thanks Mahen. The love and guidance of our parents played such a huge part. The teachers and the school too played such a massive part in making us who we are to give us the aims objectives and aspiration to achieve our ambitions. My friends who worked with me help me maintain my mental health by their teenage humour and encouragement during those tough times.
    I owe so much to so many and I'm sure the readers feel the same.

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    1. Nihal, I would absolutely agree with you about the invaluable contribution made by my Teachers and my school, Royal College. And of course there are many people, too numerous to name, who have shaped my attitude and approach in life. In short, we are a product of our genes and our environment in broad scientific terms. I have been fortunate in both aspects - Awesome force of destiny??

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    2. To All the readers,
      Our destiny may be written at the very conception.Hindus,believe that Lord Brahma,the creator,Vishnu,the sustainer and Siva the destroyer.Christians,Jew and Muslims believe in monotheism.Whatever belief,they have,all boils down it to the work of the creator.Creation is an enigma to me and I remain an atheist.
      My experience with Astrology was amazing.The day I consulted an Astrologer,in Punchi-Borella and waited for the letter to come from the University.I was over Moon when I opened the letter and saw the invitation for the Viva voce.I can still remember the experience,Ven Narada thero had on visit to India and meeting a n Astrologer.What was predicted had amazed the thero and he mentioned that incident during a discourse held at Visaka Vidyalaya.I attended the meeting,not to see the beautiful girls of Visaka,but to listen to the discourse.I have no doubt that what was said by the very Reverend was nothing but truth.

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    3. Sumathy
      Thank you for those memories. I learnt astrology and palmistry from my Grandpa. It was interesting and I will leave it for another occasion.
      I remember my meeting with Ven. Rahula thero at a temple very close to Visakha Vidyalaya with Sanath de Tissera. What struck me most was his wisdom and humility. A great man who must be closer to nirvana than anyone else I know.

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  6. Nihal, your unique recollection of your 'lost years' jogged a few memories of my own. I think the "A Levels" were when I really buckled down and studied hard. In fact, my father, who often went to bed quite late, would see me studying way past my usual bedtime, and feeling sorry for me once said "Why don't you forget about medicine, and do something with your art?" In retrospect, I think that was such a loving thing to say, because there were many in our generation who had the opposite experience with their parents. I also remember vividly that at the 'Viva Voce' one of the professors questioned me on Leonardo da Vinci's Last Supper at great length. Fortunately, I knew enough to hold my own on the subject. Another amusing recollection was not about me, but about our good friend Swyrie, who hated dissecting cockroaches during our zoology practicals with Mr. Pannikar. She somehow avoided touching them during our school years. Guess what? at the A Level exam she had to dissect one! She 'bit the bullet' and did what she had to do, and did very well, I might add.

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  7. Srianee
    Thank you for your recollections. Those years give me the shivers!!! At the Viva Voce they asked me the well heeled question when and why I wanted to study medicine. I rather sheepishly coughed up the prepared answers and I could see the smoke coming out their ears. I thought I had blown my chances.
    My zoology practical was the nervous system of the cockroach. My first cut saw the ring of the nervous system float away to the edge of the tray.
    Perhaps it was my destiny to study medicine although journalism too would have given me much satisfaction. I like the ending of that old scout song:
    Row, row, row your boat
    Gently down the stream
    Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily
    Life is but a dream

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  8. Taking the memories back to our golden days in Sri Lanka and facing
    challenging exams,I recall my Zoology dissection.I had a rat(Rattus rattus)to dissect.Prof.Bufa(Prof Fernando,Professor of Zoology)appeared from behind and asked me a few questions.He was an imposing figure and students feared him.From his reaction,I knew that I was heading in the correct direction.My star were benevolent and I passed the Entrance.

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  9. I remember going for the interview attired in the Royal College tie as many members of the interview panel were old Royalists, Sir Nicholas Attygalle, Professors ACE Koch, Mylvaganam,EOE Pereira etc. I had forgotten what I had listed for my hobbies when I applied and I was asked by Professor Rajasuriya why I was collecting cigarette packets and whether my father was a smoker. When I said "no",he asked what the hazards of smoking are. I mentioned about lung cancer and Buerger's disease.He questioned me about the latter disease and when I said that such patients suffer from excruciating nocturnal pain in their calves and it is common among beedi smokers his eyebrows went up !
    Later my RC tie was borrowed by my friends because they considered it to be lucky !

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    1. Sanath, Thanks for your memories. No one really knows if the old school tie was a help but was never a hindrance.
      My success at the examination was a big surprise. There are many inexplicable events in my life. I call it the awesome force of destiny.

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  10. You got a good memory for these Sanath. I can't even recall whether I had a viva or not when I entered. I never really found out how crucial these were. There were rumours about "Old boys networks", "Doctors in the family" and "Colombo schools" among other things.

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  11. A month ago when I saw Nihal's article on our Blog, I printed it out to read it leisurely and absorb it (In any case, I prefer the printed word to that on the screen). Today the 18th August I managed the pleasant task of reading the story with a feeling of anticipation! No one can beat Nihal's writing in relation to style and language and the story unfolds like one's favourite best seller. You live his life and go through the trials, excitements and laments and enjoy the final success. What a journey you take us through, Nihal! And I am happy I took all this time to 'read it in peace and leisurely'.Each batch mate's story is unique, each one handling his or her own experiences in a unique way. I truly appreciate yours, Nihal, and in doing so we relive our own journey and mentally experience the battles. Thank you for sharing with us your student life before, during and after medical school!

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