I was deeply saddened by the passing away of another of our valued colleagues.
To those who didn’t know her well, she was a glamorous but distant figure.But her intimates knew her to be kind,gracious unassuming and affable capable of inspiring lifelong friendships.As Rohini Ana ‘ and Srianee have affirmed she was an amazing human being who bore the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune with fortitude and equanimity.
We first met in our late teens at a lively party at her cousin’s (Romesh N) home.He and other STC classmates,including Bora were members of an esoteric group the Saint’s Club.The name was derived from Leslie Charteris’s Saint series.LC’s brother Rev Bowyer Yin was the School chaplain.Regular invitees included sisters,cousins and girlfriends of members.Sue stood out even amongst that bevy of beauties.
I got to know her well,while we were doing the professorial gynaecology clinical term.In that dimly lit forbidding ward she was a ray of sunshine.Male and female students were paired to appraise bemused patients.She was my colleague and a superb mentor to the callow and diffident youth I was.She would introduce ourselves to the sometimes fearful patients ,gently elicit a history and lead the examination.A treasured memory.Sadly I did not foster the bond after that appointment.
We last met at the 1992 reunion in London.Twenty five years on she was as beautiful as ever.She was accompanied by her daughters.To them I offer my profound and deepest
sympathies. Your mother was a great lady.
“A good heart has stopped beating ; a good soul has ascended to heaven”
May she Rest In Peace.
May the Good Earth lie softly on her”
Kumar
Lucky, I agree wholeheartedly. Kumar, my friend, you have written your eulogy in wonderful prose. We need you to contribute more articles to our Blog. I know you comment but let us have some more direct contributions - on any topic! You, ND , Rohini and a few others, have immense literary talent, or should I use that awful phrase being used so much these days - huge literary talent!
ReplyDeleteThank you Speedy for reminding our talented bunch.Do n't waste the few remaining years of your life in doldrums.I wished I had my education in one of those prestigious schools in Ceylon;bygone.
ReplyDeleteSumathi
DeleteYours is a beautiful life.
Your comment reminds me of that famous Rudyard Kipling poem 'If' which tells us what is important in life.
If I may here it is:
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Kumar, What a fitting and beautiful tribute to the gentle and unassuming person Sue was. Iam so happy you’ve done her this honour.
ReplyDeleteMy memories of Sue were mainly from our teenage years, and I knew there were others who’d have more to write of her. A magnificent tribute.
Kumar, thank you for a beautifully expressed tribute. Also for jogging my memory of the Leslie Charteris connection at STC. Reverend Bowyer Yin lived in Singapore until he passed away a few years ago. Yes, Sue had a very gentle way about her, and I can picture her introducing herself to the patients to put them at ease. Manel W. shared with me that Sue picked her up every morning from the women's hostel when they were both doing their clinical rotation at LRH. She reached out to help people whenever she could, without much fanfare. She lost touch with people for a while, but was reconnecting with old friends until she fell ill. Rohini, I'm sorry that you were unsuccessful in your attempt to get back in touch with Sue, and I'm sorry I didn't know about it. She would have enjoyed hearing from you.
ReplyDeleteSrianee
DeleteSo pleased you are back on the Blog again. We need your input and wisdom.
Thanks Nihal, I have to admit that I do feel guilty when I 'disappear' from the Blog from time to time. But, I do get involved with activities and people around me, and when that happens I'm too exhausted to sit at the computer to write anything coherent, forget about imparting 'wisdom.' I shall try to be more consistent.
DeleteKumar
ReplyDeleteThank you for those wonderful memories written in such elegant prose. Reading through the tributes I do get a feel of the wonderful person we have lost. I am certain Sue's presence has made a huge difference to the community where she worked. Despite her privileged upbringing Sue never lost her common touch. I do wish she was part of our Blog community, a great way to keep in touch. It is also a way to make contact with long lost friends, express our views and share our experiences in our own time.
I do recall 'The Saint', the man with a halo and those Leslie Charteris days that gave us a fizz and a buzz before Ian Fleming and James Bond came along. Ah! How time has flown.
Nihal, you referred to Sue's privileged upbringing. We all knew Willie (W.D.) Ratnavale, her father, who was a fantastic lecturer and the founder of "Glass House." Many of his siblings were extremely successful in their chosen careers. But, there were tragedies as well. One of his brothers, who worked for the UN, was killed in a plane crash along with his wife several years ago. Sue told me that her last surviving uncle, David, was writing a book about the Ratnavale clan. I believe he lives in Maryland. I'm not certain if the book will be widely released, but I will investigate.
DeleteSrianee, You’d also remember George Ratnavale the neurologist.
ReplyDeleteDavid might be a psychiatrist if Iam not mistaken, and Arthur was a civil servant who married Poovathi Hoole - Chitrani’s oldest sister .
I came to know Sue personally more through her connection with the Hooles
who were close family friends of ours than through school.
As has already been said, in spite of her connections she had no ‘airs’, thought for herself with down right honesty and conducted herself with great dignity. It was a privilege to have known her even briefly.
I can react openly to the comments, but shall refrain from referring to the content of what I receive in private e-mails except under special circumstances. I must also mention that apart from Pram, Malkanthi, Swyrie, Speedy, Rohini Ana, Chitra Perera, Ranjith Kariyawasam, Swini Iyer, Lakshman Jayasinghe and Cyril (whom I had mentioned earlier) I have had e-mails from Suri, Kusuma, Srianee, Gnaniss, Bala and Loretta since then, condoling about Sue's parting.
ReplyDeleteI had heard about the famous Ratnavale clan, but seen only the two doctors at close quarters. I may have had a glimpse of the UN expert but never seen the Civil Servant. ND sums up Sue's personality thus: "Despite her privileged upbringing Sue never lost her common touch". How true!
When I sent out that "General" e-mail to our batch colleagues it was mainly for the benefit of those who read e-mails but seldom visit the blog, if at all. As a special case, I informed Mangala's older sister Shantha about Sue's sad demise because she asked me about Sue when we met her in California in May (she knew that Sue was also in my batch in Med School). In response, she had written back saying that although she remembers Sue well and her good looks, it was Sue's sister Shomola who was in her class at Ladies College. My SIL further states that the two sisters were somewhat different, which too was echoed by one of you.
What a lot of information I have gathered about Sue Ratnavale in the last few days!
Has anybody got a photo of Sue (old or recent) as it would be nice to fit it into one of Lucky's Obituary notices?
ReplyDeleteKumar
ReplyDeleteThe souvenir of the Habarana reunion had photos of us all, including Sue’s ; they had been extracted from the Appointment books.Lucky,Swyrie and Bala may have preserved their copies.Unfortunately my copy is in SriLanka.It maybe a worthy,though massive effort to publish them in the blog.In the first flush of youth,we all look so fresh faced and pictures of innocence!!!
Kumar
I looked for one, but failed to get at it. I missed the Habarana Reunion in 2008 as we had just returned to the US. But I don't think Sue attended that.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I don't have the entire lot of Appointment Book pictures. If any of you have them please send them to me. I would be happy to insert Sue's photo in the appropriate place.
Photo I sent is from souvenir with "sig book" photos. I have enhanced it a bit.
DeleteMahen
DeleteWell done my good and trusted friend. The photo brings her back to life as the pretty girl that walked the long corridors of the GHC and strutted in and out of the lecture rooms with us. Mahen we are very fortunate to have you in our batch and to have you as a friend. Despite your many achievements your modesty and humility stands out. Your helpful advice which you have given to so many including Lucky for the smooth running of the Blog has been invaluable.
Lucky
As the manager of my school website I know the commitment, time and patience needed to manage the blog amidst some bouquets and brickbats. You have indeed done a marvellous job and long may it continue. The blog has become the focus in our retirement to keep in touch and pay tribute. I cannot imagine life without it now!! Thank you my friend for the work you do without advertising revenues or payment of any kind just to keep our worldwide brotherhood together, as we walk into the sunset.
I am a strong supporter of those who prefer to bestow praise to people when they are alive.
Lucky
DeleteI hasten to add that you've had many bouquets from so many from our batch but the brickbats have been from me. That was never done with any malice and never personal. We have been friends since 1962 and we have all changed. But friendships never die. Having lived in the west I have learnt to speak out and stand my ground. You have managed those situations most admirably. Thank you.
You are too kind ND, my good friend. Thanks a lot and although it is a touch embarassing to read, I do agree with you on the principle of recognising and acknowledging talents while we are still in this Blue planet! May I say the same of you. Your literary talents and manner of expression is second to none.
DeleteWhat you said about Lucky is absolutely true and as we have all acknowledged from time to time, we owe him a deep debt of gratitude.
As family friends the best source of a photo would be Patas or Ranjan Hulugalla. As I manage my school website I have found the eulogy gven at the funeral is a fine tribute to publish as a fitting and comprehensive tribute
ReplyDeleteA beautiful photo of a beautiful friend - thank you Mahen
ReplyDeleteWhen I was the Dean, I got all our photographs which are in our signature books.These photos are archived in the Dean's office. I think I did this for the Habarana re-union/
ReplyDeleteSanath
That is correct Sanath. I got it from the Habarana souvenir. Thanks for doing that.
DeleteThank you Mahen for tracking down Sue's photo (with Lama's help) in order to make this a more complete tribute to a beautiful friend. Your technical abilities are much appreciated (and admired!) I've thought about Sue a lot this past week. She was truly a "Renaissance" woman with interests in literature, music and nature. She attended Shakespeare Festivals in Colorado and visited the National Parks after she retired. I think she was one of the founder members of PEMSA although she may not have attended more recent gatherings. She often joked that PEMSA was incorporated in her garage in Las Vegas, Nevada, because Nevada has no income tax!
ReplyDeleteND has sent this e-mail from Vedavanam's wife Dushyanthi.
ReplyDeleteDear Nihal,
It was nice to speak to you yesterday.
I am very impressed by the 1962 blog which is so informative, interesting and lively. Thanks to the brilliant contributions by Mahendra, yourself and some other regular contributors.
It was nice to remember Sue Ratnavale. She is my cousin. My father and her mother are first cousins. We used visit frequently in the good old days but after we all went abroad that contact was lost. I heard about her death from other cousins. She was a soft spoken and unassuming person.
Mahendra will know my brother Sockanathan who played cricket for Royal. He passed away ten years ago at the age of 63.
I have to rely on my children to post anything on the blog so I shall jot down my memories of Sivakumar and forward it to you.
It was nice of Mahendra
to open the blog to the families of the 1962 batch. I do enjoy the poetry and all the creative things included in it. I congratulate Mahendra, Lucky and yourself for the magnificent effort gone into the making of this blog to keep everyone happy. Please forward this email to Mahendra.
With Warm Regards
Dhushyanthi
Dhushyanthi, a warm welcome to the blog. Yes, we will definitely miss Sue. I don't think I have had the pleasure of meeting you (unless we were at one of the reunions at the same time) because sadly I lost touch with Sivakumar after we graduated. I do remember his impish antics and mischievous smile while we were in Medical College! I'm glad you are enjoying the Blog, and we are ever so grateful that Lucky, Mahen,ND and others keep it going. I fall 'off the cliff' from time to time, but am delighted to reconnect with everyone when I return. It is almost magical to be able to share our thoughts, ideas and opinions this way. Please contribute and stay connected, even if you have to twist someone's arm to do it. I hope you will eventually figure out how to comment on your own. Again, a warm welcome! Srianee
DeleteWhat a lovely email from you! Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts about our Blog. I am so glad that you like reading our posts. It is too late now but I do regret losing contact with Veda, especially because we were in the same Country. But life goes in ways which we don't fully understand!
DeleteI do remember the late Sockanathan, the cricketer from Royal and didn't know that he was your brother.
Please do keep in touch and if you got any ideas on how our Blog can be further improved, please send them to us.
Srianee, you are quite right and let us hope that Dhushyanthi masters the art of blog commenting!
I have such fond memories of Sivakumar Vedavanam for spending 4 years together in the Central Blood Bank in Colombo after 5 gruelling years at Med School. We escaped the hustle and bustle of Colombo collecting blood in far away places staying is Rest Houses, schools and even Temples with the blessings of the High Priest. His kindness, generosity and tolerance shone through all those years. He showed great compassion to those who were less fortunate. My greatest regret is that he was 30 minutes drive away from me after his move to Bedford and we never connected being busy with work and family. As I write I can see his cheeky smile. I will always cherish our time together.
ReplyDeleteC'est la vie.
May he find eternal peace.