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Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Scotch with 2 drops of water - Sent in by Sriani Dissanayake Basnayake

A lady  goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders  a Scotch with two drops of water.  As the  bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on  this cruise to celebrate my 80th  birthday and it's today.'  The  bartender says 'Well,  since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a  drink.  In fact,  this one is on me.' 
As the  woman finishes her drink
  the woman  to her right says 'I would  like to buy you a drink, too.'  The old  woman says  'Thank  you.  Bartender,  I want a Scotch with two drops of  water.'  'Coming  up' says the bartender .

As she  finishes that drink,
the man to  her left says 'I would  like to buy you one, too.'  The old  woman says  'Thank  you.  Bartender,  I want another Scotch with two drops of  water.'  'Coming  right up' the bartender says.

 As he  gives her the drink, he says 
'Ma'am,  I'm dying of curiosity.
  Why the  Scotch with only two drops of  water?' The old  woman replies  'Sonny,  when you're my age,  You've  learned how to hold your liquor... holding  your water however, is a whole other  issue.'

'OLD' IS  WHEN.... 

Your  sweetie says 'Let's go  upstairs and make love' And you  answer: 'Pick one,  I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS  WHEN... Your  friends compliment you On your  new alligator shoes And you're  barefoot!

'OLD' IS  WHEN... A sexy  babe or hunk catches your fancy .... And your  pacemaker opens the garage door!

'OLD' IS  WHEN.... You don't  care where your spouse goes .. Just as  long as you don't have to go along.


'OLD' IS  WHEN... You are  cautioned to slow down By the  doctor instead of by the police

'OLD' IS  WHEN... 'Getting  lucky' means you find your car .. In the  parking lot.

'OLD' IS  WHEN... An 'all  nighter' means not getting up To use the  bathroom.

AND 'OLD' IS  WHEN..... You are  not sure these are jokes!


  1. I like them!
    Old is when you make an ID ten T error with your computer. What? Just write it down and you will know! .................ID10T

  2. Sriani... keep it up. Here a few more to ponder?? a Malt Whiskey that matures with age.... best consumed NEAT--without anything "on" it.. when her husband is unable to "rise" "IN" or OUT of bed in the morning!!
    OLD when your wife sleeps in the spare room because of your snoring.
    OLD ... is when your wife sleeps in the spare room because she has lost all her "inclinations".
    OLD..... is when your wife realises that your "volume" has reduced and she has less to clean up!!