LEAVING HOME TO RETURN HOME: Srianee Dias

LEAVING HOME TO RETURN HOME

Srianee Dias

What is the definition of Home? During the past few months, this question has been swirling in my mind, searching for answers.  

No doubt the place where one is raised, however humble, is always home. But often, with time, this home becomes a memory, and it is not possible to return. Is it always a place? A geographical location?

Home is also defined by the people who nurtured and protected us, as well as the childhood companions who populated our childhood. Some of us were lucky to have a few of these childhood friends accompany us all the way to adulthood.  I have been lucky that way.

       Several of us left these familiar places and our families to work in other distant lands.   We established roots, made new friends, and raised our families in these places, which in time became home to us. As our children grew we became involved in the overlapping circles of their lives and our lives. In my mind the home I raised my daughters gradually ceased to be “home” after they moved away and established homes of their own.

     After they moved out, I found myself rattling around in a rather large house, which required care and maintenance.  I found these chores took time away from the things I really enjoyed doing. This got me thinking and finally acting on “downsizing,” as many other wise people do, after retirement.  I began to taste the freedom of a simpler life and was able to escape the unpleasant, sometimes hazardous New England winters. 

    Spending the winter months in Sri Lanka got me thinking about what it would be like to move back, although it was still a remote possibility.  This idea kept cropping up in family conversations for many years until my younger daughter finally said, “Mom, you’ve been talking about moving back to Sri Lanka for a long time, what’s holding you back?” My thought was, “It’s a lot of work and planning, that’s what is holding me back!”  Her question, however,  prompted me to do some soul searching, working out the logistics, and finally, the hard work began.

     The hard reality was that my daughters lived far away from me, and in the event of an emergency, it would take more than 24 hours for either of them to reach me.  Thankfully, my siblings are still living in Colombo and the suburbs. In addition, I have a whole tribe of cousins, nieces and nephews, as well as many friends, some going back to my days in kindergarten!  I felt lucky to have such a supportive network.  Even though the places of my childhood had changed, not always for the better, many of the people who made it “Home” are still around, older and wiser.

     My friends in the US will be sorely missed, but thanks to WhatsApp, they are just a phone call away.  Visits are being planned, and it is possible that I will boost the tourist industry in Sri Lanka by a few decimal points!

  Aside from my friends, there are many things that I will miss about living here.  I will definitely miss being able to drive myself whenever I please to wherever I please.  The day I returned my leased car was a very sad day for me. Perhaps, at 81, it was time to turn in my car keys anyway. I know several older friends who only stopped driving after they had minor accidents - thankfully just “fender benders.”  So far, Kangaroo Cabs has worked out well for me.

  I will miss the small theatre that shows independent movies, where the lobby had artwork by local artists, where one could easily pop in alone to see a movie without feeling awkward.

    On the positive side, it is a great source of comfort to know that I have family members living just one floor below me in the same apartment building. If I hadn’t moved, I would be growing older, alone in Connecticut, and that thought is rather depressing!

     Yesterday, while enjoying the Indian Women’s Cricket Team's victory over the South Africans, I realised another benefit: I now have access to a lot of cricket on TV.  Something I did not have in Connecticut!