LEAVING HOME TO RETURN HOME
Srianee Dias
What is the definition of Home? During the past few months, this question has been swirling in my mind, searching for answers.
Home is also defined by the people who nurtured and protected
us, as well as the childhood companions who populated our childhood. Some of us
were lucky to have a few of these childhood friends accompany us all the way to
adulthood. I have been lucky that way.
Several of us
left these familiar places and our families to work in other distant
lands. We established roots, made new
friends, and raised our families in these places, which in time became home to
us. As our children grew we became involved in the overlapping circles of their
lives and our lives. In my mind the home I raised my daughters gradually ceased
to be “home” after they moved away and established homes of their own.
After they moved out, I found myself rattling around in a rather large house, which required care and maintenance. I found these chores took time away from the things I really enjoyed doing. This got me thinking and finally acting on “downsizing,” as many other wise people do, after retirement. I began to taste the freedom of a simpler life and was able to escape the unpleasant, sometimes hazardous New England winters.
Spending
the winter months in Sri Lanka got me thinking about what it would be like to
move back, although it was still a remote possibility. This idea kept cropping up in family conversations for many years until my younger daughter finally said, “Mom, you’ve been talking about moving back to Sri Lanka for a long time, what’s holding you back?” My thought was, “It’s a lot of work and planning, that’s what is holding
me back!” Her question, however, prompted me to do some soul searching,
working out the logistics, and finally, the hard work began.
The hard reality
was that my daughters lived far away from me, and in the event of an emergency, it would take more than 24 hours for either of them to reach me. Thankfully, my siblings are still
living in Colombo and the suburbs. In addition, I have a whole tribe of
cousins, nieces and nephews, as well as many friends, some going back to my
days in kindergarten! I felt lucky to
have such a supportive network. Even
though the places of my childhood had changed, not always for the better, many
of the people who made it “Home” are still around, older and wiser.
My friends in the
US will be sorely missed, but thanks to WhatsApp, they are just a phone call
away. Visits are being planned, and it
is possible that I will boost the tourist industry in Sri Lanka by a few
decimal points!
Aside from my friends, there are many things that I will miss about living here. I will definitely miss being able to drive
myself whenever I please to wherever I please.
The day I returned my leased car was a very sad day for me. Perhaps, at 81, it was time to turn in my car keys anyway. I know several older friends who only stopped driving after they had minor accidents - thankfully just “fender benders.” So far, Kangaroo Cabs has worked out well for
me.
I will miss the small theatre that shows independent movies, where the lobby had artwork by local artists, where one could easily pop in alone to see a movie without feeling awkward.
On the positive side, it is a great source of comfort to know that I have family members living just
one floor below me in the same apartment building. If I hadn’t moved, I would
be growing older, alone in Connecticut, and that thought is rather depressing!
Yesterday, while
enjoying the Indian Women’s Cricket Team's victory over the South Africans, I realised another benefit: I now have access to a lot of cricket on TV. Something I did not have in
Connecticut!
