Encounters - Kumar Gunawardane

Series No: 1

Encounters

By Kumar Gunawardane

A sweet memory,
of a monsoon morn,
set in stone .

The rain pelts,
now in fat blobs,
then in sharp slivers.
The gawky youth
slides to the shopfront,
shaking.
She joins,
wet dress clinging
to her slender form,
spellbound,
he gapes,
she turns towards him
sheepishly, he says,
can I carry your books.
No, you are wet too.

The rain fades
she walks away
the stealthy glance, the faint smile
pierces, his heavy heart
why did the rain go away
so soon

Zita’s Poems and my tribute to Zita- Nihal D Amerasekera

Zita’s Poems of a beautiful life

From Nihal D Amerasekera 

In Zita’s book of poems are glimpses of her past and present in verse. With her academic training, she has arranged the poems under headings highlighting the various aspects of her life, moods and feelings. There are thoughts of people and events. The poems also have a deeper philosophy and a generous flow of emotions. Reading between the lines is a must for Zita’s poems which makes them so very revealing and relevant. Despite being very expressive and intensely moving, the poems are very readable. I have done my best to understand what Zita has tried to convey in verse. Varied thoughts come together in a note of hope. The poems are refreshingly tender and sensitive but always thoughtful and lyrical.

With the help of her son, Rohan, the poems have now been gathered into a book. The proceeds from its sale and donations will be given to Cancer Research UK. The beautiful book cover was drawn by Zita. It shows her love of nature. My thanks to Rohan and Zita for publishing the poems. I enjoyed them immensely. 

My Tribute to Zita 

Zita Perera was schooled at Good Shepherd Convent Kotahena. After her success in the University Entrance examination in 1960, she proceeded to a 6-month course in Chemistry at the University of Ceylon prior to joining the Faculty of Medicine in Colombo. 

I saw Zita for the first time in September 1962 amidst the mayhem of the rag, the confusion of physiology lectures and the stress of anatomy signatures. As I now look through that haze, although Zita oozed charm and personality, I never had the good fortune to speak with her. In those days, men and women didn’t mix as freely as now, not even in that higher seat of learning. After the great dispersal from Kynsey road in 1967, it took a further 48 years to see Zita again. This time she was with her husband, Jo. They both seemed happy, jovial and lively.  Mahendra G has kept in touch with Zita and we all met up at Côte Brasserie off Oxford Street in London. It was 2015, and we had all retired from our professional lives. Despite the years, this was a remarkable bonding, and there was so much closeness and intimacy. We retraced our lives since medical school. I remember it to this day the clarity with which Zita related the story of her life, work and family. What stood out was how contended she was with her life. Always smiling and forever young, Zita accepted the advancing years with delight and optimism. She is delightful company, always spoke kindly about people, and there was never a harsh word. 

Humility is something that came naturally to Zita. When we met Zita, she never spoke much about her professional work as an Ophthalmologist. She was successful at the Fellowship examination (FRCS) in Ophthalmic Surgery. Zita’s specialist training was at the centre of excellence, Moorfields Hospital in London, where she received her Certificate of Higher training.  Zita is indeed a fully qualified Ophthalmic Surgeon. She speaks most warmly about her spell in Sri Lanka as an Ophthalmologist at the Sri Jayewardenepura hospital. There she started a modern Laser service. Lasers have become as essential to the practising ophthalmologist just like the scalpel, the magnifier and sterile gloves. Zita’s photo now adorns the Ophthalmic Department to remember her huge contribution to the treatment of eye disease in Sri Lanka. Zita is far too modest to acknowledge praise and wore that intelligence and brightness so lightly. 

Zita has a deep concern for our planet and the perils of global warming. She felt that we were not doing enough to prevent a catastrophe. Zita has written at length with authenticity and eloquence about her sadness for the plight of those affected by the tsunami in Sri Lanka. She has a strong egalitarian streak that surfaced in our conversations. We met again in the summer of 2016.  This time Sanath Lamabadusuriya joined Zita and Mahen for lunch in London. After a long walk down memory lane, we exchanged our fund of medical anecdotes. Although rather quiet Zita has the remarkable ability to tell a story and deliver it fluently and with flair. After the sumptuous lunch, Zita took us to “Just Joe’s” for a cappuccino, where we continued our banter. 

Zita was very keen to meet the batch-mates and joined us in all the London Reunions organised by Pramilla Senanayake in 2016, 2017 (one in Spring and another in the Summer), 2018, 2019 and January 2020. These generated great excitement, warmth and sentimentality. At each one of those, Zita walked round the tables with such grace and charm to speak with everyone. On those occasions, I recall her joy, vitality and guileless spirit. She was always there but never conspicuous, always elegant but never stealing the limelight. Zita appeared on our Covid-induced Zooms despite the technical glitches that hounded her. In September 2018 there was a lunch at Satay House in Paddington for Rajan Ratnesar and his lovely wife, Queelan. They were visiting London from California.  Zita and Jo arrived all the way from Southend-On-Sea, like Royalty, in a plush chauffeur-driven limousine. Although this was a brief encounter, we had a most memorable afternoon exchanging anecdotes and laughing at the travails of youth. 

Zita always had a strong feeling for the batch. Her supportive and encouraging comments has helped to keep our Blog alive. Blessed with a rich vocabulary and a great gift for poetry she lit up the Blog with her special brand of rhyming poems on a multitude of diverse topics. The poems are an eclectic mix, some gentle observations others inspired by her seaside home and some very moving. Zita has contributed several articles to the blog which have been greatly valued. She writes with gravity and depth and also with lightness and humour. 

Zita is a talented musician and has entertained us on her Clavinova playing that delightful Nocturne from Chopin, Massenet’s endearing Meditation from Thaïs and also that eternal French favourite ‘La Mer’. 

She takes great pride in her family. Zita’s husband, Jo, was an optometrist with the famous upmarket opticians, Raybans. Zita and Joe with their children and grandchildren are the beneficiaries of a life well and fully lived. They celebrated their Golden Wedding Anniversary in 2017. Zita loves living in Southend, that affluent enclave by the sea.  She often said how constantly mesmerised she is by nature, the 4 seasons and the wildlife. Being so close to France they became regular visitors and spent many holidays there. The family became Francophiles learning the language, enjoying the cuisine and appreciating the wonderful French music. 

Zita loves country music. She and her mother have been active members of the Hank Snow fan club. While Hank Snow was on tour in London, Zita and her mum met him personally. Incidentally I too have been a fan of his brand of music and recall with much nostalgia listening to the Hank Snow Quarter on Radio Ceylon every weekday at 9am - during the school holidays. I had a large collection of his music in a digital format which I was able to pass on to Zita.  Zita and Joe have asked us to spend a weekend over with them at Southend but Covid came along and we just couldn’t make it happen. In my association with Zita what stands out is her overwhelming honesty, altruism and gentle kindness. 

With her evangelical upbringing, Catholicism means a lot to Zita. She finds it’s teachings immensely comforting. Zita has remained a deeply religious person all through her life. There was the occasional wobble which was transient. We all have had our share of vacillations and indecisions in our search for that elusive “Truth”. 

We met in medical school in our youth when we all felt immortal. Death and disease happened to others. We euphemistically referred to them as patients. In the fullness of years now, we know the occupation is no inoculation against disease or grief. It will reach us with monotonous regularity as we age, until it is our turn to leave this planet. The detached emotional tidiness that we had as doctors has now evaporated. We now feel the same emotions as everyone else. 

To live the life one wants, in the way one wants, is rare and is a brave and inspiring gift. To persevere and live it with dignity and peace is something to be greatly admired. Zita, you have achieved your goals better than most. It has been a great privilege to get to know you and thank you for being my friend.

19th September 2022. NOTE FROM BLOG ADMIN Mahendra

I decided to add comments of appreciation to the main post as it would become a suitable archive.

Tribute by Rohini Anandaraja

Nihal, This tribute to Zita is a very kind gesture.
I endorse all that you’ve expressed about her gentle nature and her talents.
Her poetry in the blog in all its variety has been very entertaining and clever.
I am so pleased to learn that the family have made the collection available in the form of a book and shall take steps to secure a copy. 

Tribute by Chirasri Jayaweera Bandara

Nihal,Congratulations for an excellent tribute to Zita. You are a great writer and you should write books.
I have known Zita since our internship days together under Dr. Misso.

During my postgraduate training in UK I have been to Zita's and Jo's place and spent weekends together between 1977 and 1979.
I admire Zita's courage and determination to sit for the final MS Ophthalmology exam conducted by the Post Graduate Institute of Medicine Colombo. Cassim and I were examiners! She was successful and was working at the Sri Jayawardenapura Hospital Kotte.
During that period we used to visit each other and have meals together
After she and her family moved to UK I had a E mail stating that she was stranded in Spain and she needed 2000 sterling pounds urgently. Since I couldn't contact her I sent this via Barclays bank London.
When I realised it was a fraud I rang up Barclays Bank and requested .them to stop payment. Luckily payment was stopped but I lost 100 pounds. When Zita came for our batch reunion subsequently she gave me a cheque for 100 pounds which I didn't accept,
What are friends for if we cannot help them in time of need.
When I heard of her illness I have been in constant touch with her and praying for her and wishing her all the best.
Pram has a book of Zita poems for me. I am looking forward to getting it and reading it.
Nihal wishing you all the best.

Tribute by Mahendra Gonsalkorale.

Nihal’s article is superbly crafted as usual. Zita deserves all the praise showered on her by Nihal, Chira and Rohini and it gives me great pleasure to join them. I must thank Lucky and the Blog which was the vehicle through which I re-established contact with Zita and her lovely family. I have visited them on several occasions and every time I went, I was greeted with love and affection, not just by Zita and Joe but also by Nisha and Rohan. I felt completely at home and relaxed.

Zita’s poems are structurally perfect as she obeys all the rules but what makes them special is her vivid imagination and deep sense of humanity and love. She is without doubt a very special person, a person with whom I have had deep discussions on the nature of life, faith and belief. These are subjects you have to tread carefully with some people as it can cause misunderstandings but with Zita we were totally honest with each other although we did not always agree. But this is the essence of human nature, to question and disagree while always respecting another view as surely, us mortals cannot claim to be know everything.

Zita it has been my good fortune and great privilege to be your friend and may you always find the comfort you seek.

The agony and the ecstasy of the drink of the Gods. ND Amarasekera

The agony and the ecstasy of the drink of the Gods

A personal story

By Dr Nihal D Amerasekera

 “In beer there is freedom,

 in wine there is health,

in cognac there is power,

and in water there is bacteria.” —Anonymous

 

Fermented beverages have existed since the neolithic period 10,000 BC. Alcohol has played an influential role in many ancient cultures and civilisations from China to Egypt. Romans even had a God of wine, Lord Bacchus. The Greeks had Dionysus, God of wine and ecstasy. 

Many of us are social drinkers. Alcohol is a drink that reaches the parts of the mind to mesmerize, captivate and enthral us. The amber nectar can reduce inhibitions and make social interactions easier. At the opposite end of the spectrum alcohol has the propensity to create mayhem, destroy families and ruin lives. It is almost impossible to predict if a person will remain a social drinker or turn into an alcoholic. This uncertainty together with the sinister dark side of drinking there are strong enough reasons to remain teetotal. Many of the religions forbid the consumption of alcohol.  There are many in the world who abstain and sip nothing stronger than aqua-minerale. 

I’ve been a drinker for much of life. I remember with such clarity my very first drink. It was Christmas and I was an inquisitive 14 years old spending a holiday with my cousins in a rubber estate in Warakapola. The grownups were merrymaking and the booze flowed freely. They all had a late night and were in a deep slumber. My cousins and I raided the drinks cabinet. We drank far too much than was good for us and were sick as parrots. It was a lesson learnt the hard way to regulate and pace our drinks. 

The drinking culture is well established at universities. There is a tendency to feel excluded if one doesn’t drink.  As a fresher there is much peer pressure to drink and also to drink in excess. It is a perfect breeding ground for alcohol addiction. As I joined the medical faculty drinking started with the rag and continued into the infamous Law-Medical cricket match. During the match booze was dispensed from barrels, an excuse to drink in excess and misbehave. This was more youthful exuberance than hysterical nonsense. This culture somehow drifted seamlessly into the final year. There were many boozy evening parties held at the faculty’s Men’s Common Room. This was our paradise where we felt liberated. It was tremendous fun. My abiding memory of those parties is the music and the dancing in various stages of inebriation. I never missed an opportunity to join in the fun. They will always remain a wonderful memory of the happy and carefree days of my youth. I admire and applaud the few who had the courage of their convictions to remain sober and still enjoy the fun and the frolic of those parties. Some had a glass of ginger ale to create an optical illusion!! 

My father enjoyed a drink but I have never seen him drunk. While I was at University, he sometimes offered me a drink. But I was too shy and too respectful to drink with him. After I qualified as a doctor, we enjoyed a tipple together. He always poured his own and allowed me to do the same. Father seemed to love this ritual. I think it gave him immense pleasure. 

The early 1970’s wasn’t a particularly happy time in my life. I was working at the Central Blood Bank in Colombo. I pined for friendship to forget my troubles. I became a pillar of the Health Department Sports Club at Castle Street. The Club was a magnet for health workers who loved a drink and a chat in the evenings. There I was never short of company. I can still remember the bar, the ambient lighting and the soft canned music that played continuously. We talked politics, philosophy and careers and a multitude of other fascinating subjects that were made compelling by the amber nectar. Cheap and cheerful, Arrack was our drink, it seemed to soothed my pain. On an evening It gave me immense pleasure to walk through those familiar portals of the Club. A day that stands out in my memory is when a few had gathered around the smoke-filled bar. On that warm evening I sat with my drink over-looking the shimmering lights of the surrounding buildings. As the night wore on a young lad strummed his guitar and began to sing those well loved popular songs of CT Fernando, Chitra and Somapala and Sunil Santha. I remember well his beautiful rendition of that all time favourite “Tika venda nala,  konde kadala”. The cleverly parodied sensuous lyrics were an instant hit. As I walked to my car that evening I could still hear the clapping and the slurred voices in the distance. 

At times, I realised to my horror, I was there at the Health Department Sports Club for a drink all on my own. This wasn’t a good sign. Living with my parents I was never short of sound advice although much of it went unheeded. It is easy for alcoholism to take hold insidiously. What hounded and heckled me often was a short verse in our pharmacology textbook by D.R Laurence. In his brilliant description of the treatment of alcoholism was the sombre lament of an alcoholic who had accepted the inevitable “Doctor, goodbye, my sails unfurled I'm off to try the other world”. 

My life then was on a spiral of decline. What finally saved me from seeing pink elephants was the constant nagging of my parents and the news of the MRCP(UK) Part 1 examination to be held in Colombo for the first time. The latter gave me an opportunity to focus on a worthwhile ambitious project. I had to buckle down to some hard work and also to move away from the tight grip drink had on me. Giving up the carefree life I loved was a colossal task. Good friends and friendships are worth their weight in gold. The energy, enthusiasm and the sheer determination of my ambitious friends at the General Hospital Colombo steered me in the right direction. As I burnt the midnight oil, crystal clear Labugama water became my favourite drink. Success at the examination was a defining moment in my life. I had finally left my troubles behind and celebrated with friends, where else but at my beloved Health Department Sports Club. Not many have the good fortune to return from the brink as I have done. 

Moving to work in England required a work ethic and self-discipline. The onerous routines of ward work and on-call duties kept me busy and fully occupied. I had to remain sober to study and appear for professional examinations. Then came marriage and a young family requiring self-restraint. During those years alcohol was a rare luxury. As the children became teenagers nearing 18, we enjoyed a drink together as a family. Drinking then was confined to wine although my preferred drink was whisky. Watching cricket has always been my passion. I have such fond memories of the exhilarating effects of Champagne watching cricket at the Lord’s cricket grounds, bathed in the summer sunshine. 

Reflecting on my years in hospital, I recall the busy hustle and bustle of patient care.  The hospital is also a place of friendship and camaraderie. The doctors often gathered together for joyful soirees, formal dinners and posh parties. At those events no expense was spared. The drinks flowed freely, they were lively, entertaining and most memorable. By then drinking and driving had become a serious crime. We all have learnt to drink sensibly. Those who let their hair down and drank a few more for the road, were taken home in taxis. 

Retirement left time on my hands. There is now a great desire to have a drink in the evenings to help while away the time.  Alcohol does give an extra boost when watching sports or a film or listening to music. I have found to my disgust that I cannot now tolerate alcohol as much as I did in my youth. The hangovers are more unpleasant and tend to last longer.  Despite all that I still enjoy a drink. For my age I need to take greater care to protect my health.  I have learnt to enjoy and appreciate the seraphic peace of sobriety during the week, enjoy wine at weekends and whisky only on special occasions. 

The drinks industry worldwide is huge and they support a well-established drinking culture. With drinking so widespread it is important that we are all aware of its hazards. Education is key and is a long term commitment to make us all mindful of the risks and benefits of drinking. This should be done in schools and universities. Religious leaders can play an important role too. There has been much publicity in the medical literature about the calamitous consequences of drinking. The safe limits are quantified in units. I take a cue from the experts for advice and would recommend visiting the website  https://www.drinkaware.co.uk  Much more can be done by the media to bring this issue out into the open. I have often wondered, if I knew as a teenager, what I know now about alcohol, whether I would be a teetotaller today. 

Life is tougher now than in my youth and certainly more competitive. Navigating through life can be daunting and even traumatic. Through my own experience I realise how easy it is to depend on alcohol as a helpful prop.  I know for certain that in reality, alcohol can never shield me from life’s problems. Drink can so easily spiral out of control and drift into the path of no return. 

I remember with much nostalgia and great sadness the many school friends and medics who died of alcohol related illnesses. Bernard Randeniya was my best pal at medical school. He brought warmth and humour to our lives in the faculty. He was intelligent and altruistic and had a meteoric rise in the profession to become the head of the Cancer Institute at Maharagama. Bernard I knew was a social drinker, perhaps only a tad more social than some. He passed away with great dignity age 58. Bernard was a devout Roman Catholic. His faith gave him much comfort during his final illness. He was talented and had much to offer society. May this brief narrative and the message for restraint and education be a dedication to his memory. May his Soul Rest in Peace.

Zita Perera Subasinghe’s book on Poetry

Zita Perera Subasinghe’s book on Poetry

Dear Colleagues,

Our much admired, loved and valued colleague who absolutely needs no introduction, has written many poems, quite a few of which have been posted on our Blog. Her son Rohan has taken the initiative and published a book of her poems. It can be downloaded or a hard copy can be obtained through Rohan.

Zita has selected the Charity “Cancer Research UK” for donations on her behalf and I have sent the link to many of you in our WhatsApp Group and also by Email. I hope that ALL of us will contribute in whatever we can for such a worthy cause, chosen by Zita.

The link is

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/rohan-subasinghe?utm_source=copyLink&utm_medium=fundraising&utm_content=rohan-subasinghe&utm_campaign=pfp-share&utm_term=131d0694bc1f45188fc49777e43e155d

or

http://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/rohan-subasinghe 

Zita states in her Foreword, “I started writing poetry when I was in my teens, and after many lapses where nothing got published, I have now managed to make a collection of poetry of different subjects which are in this book.

I would like to thank my son Rohan for his help and encouragement in making this compilation possible by his constant support.”

Zita is one of our most regular and dedicated supporters of the Blog. She is one who recalls our Batch life with nostalgic joy and gratitude. She is unique, and we are so lucky to be in her company.

Here is a verse from a poem she wrote to welcome the New Year, typical of her positive attitude, and posted in our blog on 31/12/2014 called -

“What was it all about”

The New Year sows a brand-new seed    

A glimmer of hope, a peaceful dawn

But it’s down to thought and deed

Of every man, woman and child born

 

Let us not be sullen or sad                         

A new vision! New Hope! New Dawn!

The sun is shining, let’s be glad

As we greet the New Year’s morn

 

Mahendra “Speedy” Gonsalkorale