Search This Blog

Monday, January 4, 2016

Creative Spot by Mahendra (Speedy) Gonsalkorale


From London to Manchester in a car
After a large cup of coffee from the bar
That was a mistake, a big one by far
An hour passes progressing on the tar

Oh Hell, I need to pee!
OMG I am now in a sweat
Somehow I mustn't get wet
At last a Motorway stop I see

Rush to the Loo all a quiver
Get ready to stand and deliver
Oh! Oh! The huge relief

It really does beggar belief!

20 comments:

  1. Mahen
    A simple story and a common occurrence told so elegantly in verse. It certainly could have been worse. Your sketch reminds me of yours truly driving up to Birmingham for Xmas after a glass of the ubiquitous unexotic aqua. I was jumping up and down when my son opened the door and the rest as they say is history.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Speedy's creativity transforms a common "natural disaster" into superb humour. Hasn't this happened to all of us? Especially after a glass or two of beer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, we all have experienced these "WEE" issues.
      It is even greater in NZ- Kiwi women who are supposed to have a genetically shorter urethra??. That's why there are so many WEE STATIONS on NZ roads than else where I have been & lived!!!
      On the flip side, it is even a greater EMERGENCY when one is at the "GATES"!!!--- 'RENDA, BARATA BARAY'???.

      Delete
  4. Things could get worse. Failing to reach the toilet in time, a man said "Oh shit!" and ..... it was! Adding more to his already acute embarrassment. Liquidity is sometimes better than solidity!

    ReplyDelete
  5. If one is driving on the motorway without a service station within 30 minutes and the Bladder is up to one's neck is there any advice to prevent a catastrophe?

    ReplyDelete
  6. If one is driving on the motorway without a service station within 30 minutes and the Bladder is up to one's neck is there any advice to prevent a catastrophe?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I know an old relative of mine (now in the happy hunting ground) who always carried what to me looked liked the inner tube of a cycle tyre/wheel which could be discreetly passed to the target and the other end directed to a bottle or other receptacle. He saw I was amused and told me "your time will come Mahendra and then you won't be laughing".

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mahen
    What an ingenious contraption. Your relative should be given a posthumous award. The re-cycled cycle tube, saves the world and saves embarrassment.
    Whilst a passenger I have once used a polythene bag without those air holes. Works like magic. But for a driver yours is the answer.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You all have covered both liquids and solids. On the subject of solid excreta, I am reminded of the Sinhala verse that some bright spark had written in a public lavatory:

    "Renda bara woo vita
    Duwagena avith hanikata
    Wata pita ketha nokota
    Reela yanu mana hithe hatiyata"

    Two similar notices in English appeared in a Men's Toilet"

    "This is not a place to sit and wonder,
    But to shit and fart like thunder"

    On liquids, they had this to say:

    "Our aim is to keep this place clean,
    We hope your aim is as good"

    Having seen all these, the monkey was moved to make his own comments:

    "A little goes a long way", said the monkey, bogging down a precipice.

    "All that glitters is not gold", said the monkey, pissing in the moonlight.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Super Raz! Laughed my guts out ( I was in the toilet at the time). This was a Guardian Toilet joke 2014 entry (came second) which I thought was funny.

    "Did you hear about the film Constipated? It never came out"

    but the winner was:-

    "For Christmas last year I got given Sudoku toilet paper. It’s useless. You can only fill it in with number ones and number twos".

    ReplyDelete
  11. All that needs to be said on the subject has been said. I am speechless after all that anyway!
    Zita

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As we (the men ,of course) grow old ,gradually prostatic problems emerge. Then the interval between the desire and the volition becomes shorter and shorter. Therefore it is a good practice to empty one's bladder when one comes across a washroom so as to avoid disasters
      Sanath

      Delete
  12. Sorry for the error. It should be voidance and not "volition".
    Sanath

    ReplyDelete
  13. Seen in a washroom

    TO ALL VISITORS,

    WHO SITS UPON THIS SEAT,
    COMPLETE YOUR BUSINESS, THEN RETREAT
    IF YOU FIND THAT YOU MUST READ,
    DO IT PLEASE WITH UTMOST SPEED
    EVEN IF YOU ARE IN A RUSH,
    REMEMBER THAT IT IS NICE TO FLUSH
    EACH URGENT KNOCK ON THE DOOR,
    MEANS HURRYING UP WITH YOUR SIMPLE CHORE
    WE KNOW YOU HAVE A LOT TO DO,
    BUT PLEASE REMEMBER WE DO TOO_ _ _

    THE MANAGEMENT_ _ _

    Sanath

    ReplyDelete
  14. Very funny you guys! I don't know what the fuss is about. You guys can all park the car on the side of the road/motorway/whatever and head into the bushes. It is a little more complicated for us females. Ever noticed the long lines outside the women's washrooms? Anyway, this discussion is literally going down the toilet, don't you think?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Srianee, the long lines outside the wash rooms was always a puzzlement to me. With my knowledge of Anatomy, I thought females had a shorter urethra!

    ReplyDelete
  16. It is not the length of the urethra, it is the design of the clothes we wear and the fact that we have to come in contact (or not) with public toilet seats! And perhaps guys don't always wash their hands...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All you females should not take all these insults sitting down, you should stand up to it!

      Delete