MISSION [IM]POSSIBLE?
Srianee Dias
Now that I have more or less completed my move back to Sri Lanka, Mahen and Nihal thought it would be beneficial to the readers of the blog if I shared some of the nitty-gritty details of how I accomplished this somewhat intimidating task.
The Decision: The most difficult part is
making the decision, and I shared in a previous blog post that it took me many
years to make up my mind. It is not an
easy decision, and “one size does not fit all!” I’ve been hearing from people
who have already moved back, as well others who are seriously considering
it. An underlying theme is that growing
old in countries other than Sri Lanka requires paying for expensive care at
home, or ending up in a nursing home and getting isolated from family. This could happen even if one’s children
lived nearby.
In my case my daughters had moved far away and my close friends were often dealing with their own health problems. It was relatively easy for me to make a decision to move back to Sri Lanka where most of my family live.
Action Plan: Once the decision is made, one has to plan the action strategy. Willing family members, capable close friends or professionals need to be recruited. The work involved cannot be tackled alone by octogenarians.
I was lucky that my older daughter, her husband, and a close friend were able to help. My friend had previous experience helping people “downsize.”
Choosing a shipping
company: It is important to find a reliable shipping
company. The choice will depend on what
you need to ship. Some companies will pack and ship the entire contents of your
home.
In my situation I already had a furnished apartment in Colombo and only needed to ship small items and a few pieces of furniture. The small stuff needed to be packed by us. The company I chose was Srilak Shipping, a Sri Lankan owned company. They are based in Staten Island, NY. [+1(718)285-0324]. They advised us to use only heavy-duty moving boxes from U-Haul. We had about 3 shipments of boxes of many sizes. Each time they came to my home to pick up boxes they charged a flat rate of only $60.00. I chose their door-to-door service to avoid the hassle of picking up my stuff at their warehouse and having to deal with customs officers. The door-to-door service is charged based on the number of boxes. Since I was still in Connecticut when some of the boxes were due to arrive in Colombo, I had to give my brother’s contact information as the consignee. Their service was exceptional. I had already arrived in Colombo, however, when the last shipment was delivered and I was able to observe and appreciate their service at the receiving end as well. They partner with FedEx and it is possible that they are able to service areas outside the greater New York region too.
Choosing your treasures
and packing the boxes: This is a very
challenging task and also a very personal one.
I decided that I needed my books and
my music. My grandson took over a number
of the vinyl records that were in my home. The remaining ones along with all
the CDs I had accumulated were shipped.
In order to save space we got rid of the plastic jewel cases that
contained the CDs. The CDs are now in
plastic sleeves in something that looks like a gigantic photo album! (Thanks to my daughter and Amazon!) Sadly, we
were unable to recycle those plastic cases, in spite of making many
inquiries. The paintings and photographs
on the walls were also shipped, except for the few that I gave away. Thankfully my apartment in Colombo has high
ceilings so there is plenty of wall space to accommodate them. My daughter also encouraged me to pack some
of the trinkets and knickknacks that I had collected over the years. Many were
associated with fond memories of people, adventures and travel, although they
had very little monetary value. She said “It would feel more like home,” and
she was right.
We also managed to pare down the
collection of old family photos, some taken by my father in the late
1930s. We took them out of the bulky
albums and found acid free sleeves in which to store them.
My family convinced me to ship my
ancient (30-year-old) Klipsch speakers. I’m glad I did, because my “machangs”
who helped me find the other stereo components in Sri Lanka said that it would
be difficult to get anything of that quality in Colombo. Interestingly, those were the only items for
which I had to pay customs duty. We are still fine tuning the stereo system but
it will eventually be completed.
When packing the boxes we numbered the boxes and kept a list of the contents. We had to list the contents for the shipping company, but more importantly it was very helpful when I began the process of unpacking the boxes.
Disposal of the excess
furniture and other belongings: This is also a very challenging task
and requires careful thought. It is very
likely that your children will not want your furniture for a variety of
reasons. They have enough stuff already
or live too far away. Even if you paid a
lot of money at the time you purchased your furniture, it is very unlikely that
you will be able to sell them at a decent price. After making inquiries I found that
consignment stores and auction houses tend to rip you off. Most of them require you to pay for them to
haul the furniture away, and promise you a percentage of the sales. But how does one keep track of their sale
prices?
My son in law volunteered to post some of the items on FaceBook Marketplace. The items didn’t sell for much but at least they were taken by people who needed and appreciated them. Some of the furniture was taken by a friend whose daughter was planning to move into her own apartment. The remaining items were picked up by local charities. When I left my cottage and departed for Colombo it was not quite empty. My friend and my daughter took over the responsibility of emptying it out. Nothing ended up in a dumpster!
Finances:
Decisions about handling one’s
finances need to be made before moving to Sri Lanka. Should you transfer most of your cash to Sri
Lanka? Probably not a good idea.
I chose to give my older daughter Power of Attorney over all my accounts. I maintain a joint bank account with her and transfer funds into my Sri Lankan HNB account as needed. It is an easy process on the App and there is no fee when I transfer dollars to local currency. It also makes filing taxes in the USA simpler.
Adjusting to Sri Lanka all over
again:
This is a gradual process and it is
moving forward slowly. There were many decisions I had to make.
Transportation: Do I buy a car or
not? I had been using Kangaroo Cabs in
the past whenever I visited and found out recently that they had something
called a ‘Corporate Account.’ I don’t
have to carry cash or even a credit card.
All I do when I make the booking is to inform them that it is a
corporate account. Every two weeks an
invoice is emailed to me and I make a bank transfer. I get a 7.5% discount when the cost is above
the basic fare. So far, the drivers have
been very courteous and punctual and it definitely beats driving in the crazy
Colombo traffic.
Medical Care: A few years ago I researched the availability
of private medical insurance. Most
medical insurance plans do not enroll people over a certain age. I found that Cigna Global did not have an age
cutoff, but could reject someone if they had a pre-existing condition. I purchased a Cigna Global policy, but it
only covers inpatient care. US Medicare
will not cover me in Sri Lanka.
I have been searching for a primary
care physician, but I am not crazy about the channeling process in the private
sector. One has to navigate the
confusing winding hallways and the multiple floors of the private hospitals,
and the process is awkward and cumbersome.
Through neighbors and friends, I found The Vida Clinic, in Havelock Town
where I managed to get an appointment and meet a really good doctor. The clinic also sends doctors on house calls
and provides ambulance services. I need
to get more information about the way their system works, but at the moment, this suits me well.
In Sri Lanka, one does not need a
doctor to order routine blood work. I
walked up to the Laboratory counter at Asiri Central and got my routine blood
work done before I saw the doctor!
I am still awaiting a routine visit to an eye doctor and dentist! (I’ve made the appointments.)
Sri Lankan Time:
I am still getting adjusted to the fact that some people who promise to show up to work at my apartment (plumbers, electricians etc.) don’t seem to respect my time. They don’t show up as promised, and don’t bother to call to inform me if a problem arises. I will have to give them pep talks as time goes on!
As far as other adjustments are concerned, there aren’t too many. I am enjoying the company of the old friends that I meet from time to time. I’ve also taken advantage of the fact that I live close to the SLMA headquarters, and have so far managed to attend two of their excellent presentations.

I really enjoyed reading this very clear and methodical description which is I suppose is to be expected from a Pathologist! I have been in touch with Srianee over the whole process and I am full of admiration for her courage and clarity of thinking, taking one step at a time and always completely aware of what she had undertaken - the sign of an intelligent and pragmatic person. I am sure that others who are contemplating a move "back home" will find this of immense benefit. It is particuarly relevant to those in the US but many themes are common to other countries as well. I look forward to comments from our blog users.
ReplyDeleteMahen, thanks for posting this, and thank for your sketch. You are correct in noting that I tapped into my pathology training when I wrote this. One of the things I had to do as a pathologist was to make certain that the laboratory manuals were up to date (in the Blood Bank, which was under my supervision). I didn't have to write the procedure manuals (the supervisors did that) but I had to sign off on them. Every little detail had to be documented or else we would fail our periodic College of American Pathology inspections and accreditation.
DeleteI left out many details in this description. Many years before I made this move, I began simplifying my life by selling my home and moving into a rented cottage. This made my departure to Sri Lanka much easier. There are many things we can do to simplify our lives as we get older, even if one is not contemplating a move such as mine.
Dear Srianee
DeleteYou did well to dissociate the buying and selling of property from moving house. The process of buying and selling is a nightmare as we get bullied by buyers, sellers, solicitors and estate agents at every turn.
Very well said! I'm sure this will be quite useful for those contemplating returning to SL.
ReplyDeleteDear Srianee
ReplyDeleteWell done and thank you for that erudite discourse on your move from CT-USA to Colombo SL. It is indeed a gargantuan task and you have taken us on your journey from its beginning with all the uncertainty that coloured your thinking to the happy end, and all through the trials and tribulations that lay in-between. You have taken each stage with careful and thoughtful planning. I do admire your hopeful optimism at every stage despite the many obstacles and possible disasters. This brilliant account has all the facts written in logical sequence and is written in a very readable style. For anyone planning a similar move this has plenty to think about.
"The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there" is the famous opening line of L.P. Hartley’s 1953 novel. How very true. Nothing ever remains the same. I know you understand, Sri Lanka is not the country you left over half a century ago. But somethings never change as you have described the attitudes of the guys who don’t come on time for their work and others who just don’t turn up without informing.
I am glad you have included a note about the healthcare in Colombo. As octogenarians we will need it more than ever. Much has changed since we were medical students. I recall taking my mother to Dr Rustomjee, ENT Surgeon, for a private consultation. Seeing me he asked “what are you doing young man”. I said I was a medical student. He promptly waived his consultation fee. This Hippocratic courtesy surprised me. During my years as a Radiologist in England I never charged a fee from doctors, dentists and Sri Lankans. Private medicine was not my bread and butter but my cake and wine.
Downsizing is a heart-rending business. It was Murphy's Law that coloured my thoughts "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong". Hence It became a nightmare. Losing personal possessions specially those attached to important events in our lives was not easy. Throughout our lives we took photos which are a priceless reminder of times past. They were real paper photos that need space and care. It is impossible to retain them all. Discarding them broke our hearts. Much of the books, clothing and furniture have been given away to charity.
Downsizing helps to concentrate one’s mind to what is important in life. We come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing. What happens in between is a journey and its memory evaporates into thin air as it ends. After all the next move will be our final rest.
Srianee, I send you my very best wishes for a long, happy and healthy time in Sri Lanka.
Nihal, thank you for comment and observations. It was only when I started writing this down stepwise that I realized what a herculean task it was. I could not have accomplished it without my helpers, particularly my daughter. She kept the pressure on me. Once I got irritated at her and snapped at her! When I apologized a few minutes later, she said "Don't worry mom, I expected that reaction!" I guess she knows me too well. She kept me focused.
DeleteAbout not charging one's colleagues, do you know that in USA it is illegal to do that? It is interpreted as a "kickback!"
Nihal, thank you also for your good wishes. I wake up each day feeling that I have made the right decision.
DeleteSrianee
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your interesting final journey from US to SL.
I admire the steps taken by you one by one, methodically. You have gone through pros and cons carefully before finally taking the biggest leap in settling down in sunny SL.
I am sure you have taken the correct decision and you are happy. I am also sure that your siblings are over the moon that you are finally in SL.
As far as I am concerned, for me nothing like home sweet home SL.
We our batchmates could see you often at our batch get togethers organized by Pram.
Wishing you all the very best and happiness in your life in SL.
Chira
Chira, thank you for your encouraging comment and good wishes. About my siblings being "Over the moon," about my return, I am not so sure about that🤣. I am happy to be back here and see all of you more frequently. As for the friends I left behind in the US, thanks to WhatsApp I manage to keep in touch with them fairly easily.
DeleteHi Bunter,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading the comprehensive and absorbing tale of your transition from US back to our beloved homeland, with fascination. Your are indeed very orderly and organised in your actions, which did not surprise me as you always had the ability to think and plan ahead .
It brought back memories of our own return in 1981, after a 6 1/2 year spell in the UK which is just a fraction of your stay abroad.We too had a house to sell as well as a mountain of things we needed to ship....Mahendra's collection of over a 1O0 LP's being one of them. We also shipped a Fridge/ Freezer, an Electric Cooker and two Bathroom Suites , as they fell within our Duty Free quota ,which was handled by the agents .
Rest of what we brought back was all packed by me, including a lot fragile stuff . Our shipping agent was Euro Vista, owned by a Sri Lankan who was a friend who gave us a good deal. My two kids were very upset that I didn't ship their garden swing !
I'm glad to report the there were no casualties, except one, when Mahendra who celebrated the safe arrival of our possessions with a couple of Black Labels , put his foot through my favourite Lamp shade !
You seem to have adjusted to the transition with flying colours ! The prime location of your home at Rockwood Place is such an advantage. Having your siblings , nieces and nephews in the same building is great .
You are Indeed wise to decide not to buy a car.... with all the hassle of maintenance, as well as negotiating the horrendous traffic in Colombo.
Your proximity to the SLMA, good Shopping Malls, Cinema,and Theater will ensure that you are kept busy !
So welcome back and have a good time. You are indeed wise to connect up with a Clinic to keep an eye on your health. Feel free to get in touch if you ever need advice about whom to consult and where to go if you have any health issues. ( God forbid )
Love Suri
Hi Suri, thank you for writing and sharing your moving experience moving across the ocean. I hope Mahendra still has his collection of LPs. I listen to my LPs and CDs all the time.
DeleteReading about your children wanting to bring over their garden swing made me think of the doll house that my daughters owned. It was my younger daughter who took it over and bought furniture with her saved pocket money. Each time I had to move in the US she pleaded with me to hang on to it, although she had no definite plan to move it to Germany! Finally, I found a young family from our Church who were thrilled when I offered it to them. That made my daughter happy too.
Thank you for your offer to connect me with good doctors. You've already done that a couple of times.
Now you have to find time to do some fun things together!
As for casualties, I was also lucky, and the shippers were careful. The glass over one of the framed paintings shattered. It was a painting done by Nalini Jayasuriya. The painting itself was not damaged, and I decided it was fine without the glass . It was hung on the wall without the glass.
DeleteHi Bunter, I'm glad you found a good home for your doll's house. Manique insisted that we ship her one to Sri Lanka. I'm glad we did so because her daughter Shanuki just loved it. It has been carefully packed away... May be one day the 3rd generation will play with it.
DeleteLooking forward to meeting you at the next get together in April. Love Suri
Hi Suri, our doll house had been a family project for many years and that is why it was such a special treasure. I bought it unpainted, and my daughters and I decided to paint it in the same colors as the house we were living in at the time. There was a lovely store not too far from us that sold furniture for doll houses. We made many trips to that store on weekends and my younger daughter spent most of her pocket money on purchasing furniture for it. Eventually her sister relinquished ownership!! We even found a miniature Christmas tree. My granddaughter also enjoyed playing with it on her visits to my home, but it was not possible to transport it to Germany. The family that took it over was thrilled that the furniture actually had doors that opened etc. Sadly, that store no longer exists, because very few little children are interested in such things these days.
DeleteSuri, which is correct? Doll house, or doll's house? It is probably one of those British/American differences. I'm looking forward to seeing you too.❤️
DeleteHi Sriani
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post. As well as being informative and interesting, I found it very well thought-out and methodical. You have provided very helpful advice to anyone planning to return to our beloved Sri Lanka. I found the information on medical care and transport useful even for people going for holidays.
I hope you are still continuing and enjoying the line-dancing classes.
Enjoy life in Sri Lanka.
Wishing you all the best.
Bora, I am so glad that you found my article helpful. There are many people who are very comfortable using Uber and PickMe in Colombo. Somehow, I don't feel as comfortable with them, and I think there is more accountability with Kangaroo Cabs.
DeleteYes, I am continuing to attend the Line Dancing sessions, although I skipped it yesterday because it was sooooo hot!
All sorts of questions occur to me. What is Home? We are not alone, noody is, and our companionship radiates in circles outward to immediate family, more distant family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, citizens, the folk in your town, folk in your Country and folk in the World! All of them contribute to your "identity" and sense of belonging. All of these factors are affected by your store of memories, both pleasant and unpleasant, and where and with whom you are comfortable. These are distinct from more mundane matters such as finances and affordbility.
ReplyDeleteAs the size and nature of the circle changes, you may need to review where you feel most happy (or at least, least unhappy!). For those who migrated, and especially when they reach retirement age (as employement contributes so much on how happilly you are occupied), thoughts of returning to the nest keeps quite naturally flooding in intermittently.
How you deal with this is entirely a very personal matter and there is no right or wrong, wise or unwise, intelligent or stupid solution.
I wonder whether those who are contemplating such a move would benefit by first spending at least three continuous months in the original home country to experience the gains and the inevitable losses. I feel that the contemplating person will have a better idea about acceptability and adaptability while leaving room to either take the plunge or not.
If a person does decide as Srianee did, her article is a "must read" for dealing with all the simple and complex issues that must be dealt with in a methodical and sensible way.
I also feel that anybody who takes the plunge must concentrate on the present and possible immediate future and NEVER spend time wondering whether the decision was wise or unwise - Regret is one of the worse enemies of Man!
Srianee,
ReplyDeletePersonal safety is an important issue wherever in the world we live. Gone are the days when the doors and windows of our houses were left open during daylight hours. I really have no clue what the ‘safety’ situation is in Sri Lanka now. Apart from house alarms, is there a need for a security firm to keep an eye on the property? How about the safety while pounding the streets? Living alone brings its own issues. I hope the law enforcements agencies like the Police provide advice on these issues and help when in trouble.
There are more vehicles on the road now travelling faster, always in a hurry. They bring huge problems of safety on the roads. These are common to wherever we live in the world but in Asian countries there is a lackadaisical attitude to the highway code. I stopped driving ten years ago as my night driving became a problem. Public transport to retirees like me is free. In London there are cycles and motor cycles travelling at high speed on the edge of the road which are a huge hazard to older folk whose reflexes and movements are slow.
Many of these are problems we have lived with most of our lives. We have more time to think about them now!! I am certain you will overcome these to lead a very happy and contended life. After all you are home where your heart is.
Nihal, thank you for your concerns about personal safety. I have no concerns at all when I am walking to my grocery store on Ward Place in the daytime. Crossing the road is challenging. There is a general feeling that Colombo is safer now than it used to be a few years ago. Robberies do occur, but I haven't heard of anything happening nearby recently. Of course, I wouldn't walk around alone on a deserted road at night.
DeleteMost apartment buildings, including ours, hire 24/7 security companies to keep an eye on the comings and goings of the delivery people. People use on line ordering quite liberally.
Mahen, as usual you have raised some thought provoking questions. When we are raising children, working and living in a neighborhood, our circle of friends and acquaintances is quite vast. It actually consists of many overlapping circles; work friends, your children's friends, their parents, Church friends, golf club friends, etc. etc. Home is where your family is. When the offspring move away and we retire, this circle begins to shrink, and it takes a great deal of effort to keep the connections alive. (I try).
ReplyDeleteIn the USA it is quite common for people to retire and move to states with better weather, and sometimes the place is a place where there are no prior connections at all. I found this quite baffling. It is hard work to make new friends and make adjustment. For me, moving back to a place where I already had a network of friends and family made the most sense. But, this may not work for everybody.
Your suggestion of spending some extended time in the place you have chosen for retirement, before moving, makes a lot of sense.
Srianee and other friends, I really enjoyed reading about the trials and tribulations of making this gigantic move as an octogenarian. At a personal level, I have moved house only in Sri Lanka.
DeleteFrom 1972-74, when I spent PG leave in London, initially I lived in a bed sitter and then in hospital accommodation. Living in hospital accommodation had several advantages such as cooked food being readily available, free laundry, free phone calls and no transport expenditure. Another bonus was the availability of free beer in the doctor's mess !
In 1979 , I spent nine months working as a locum consultant at the Pilgrim Hospital in Boston Lincolnshire; I occupied hospital quarters. In 1988/89, I spent 15 months of sabbatical leave, working as a Professor of Paediatric Gastroenterology at the King Faisal University in Dammam Saudi Arabia, where free accommodation was provided. So far I have visited 68 countries and by far the worst country had been Saudi Arabia. The only attraction was the money.
From 1994-1996 I spent two years as a locum consultant in Worthing, West Sussex, where the countryside was really very beautiful. A fully furnished was made available for my family for the entire period of two years.
Each time I was due to return at the end of my period of leave, the permanent job was offered to me, which I turned down. I have absolutely no regrets that I made the correct decision. In the recent past our batchmate Nalin Nanayakkara has also returned home with his wife Damayanthi, for good. There are a few advantages of living here such as the availability of a housemaid and chauffer.
In Sri Lanka, I have moved house a few times. In 1980, I left my parent's house in Wellawatte and moved to hospital quarters at Karapitiya with my family. In 1989 I built a house at Nawala Road Nugegoda and moved there from Galle. About 10 years ago I moved to my present residence at Gothami Lane, Borella. The house is built on 20 perches of land and I have a fairly large landscaped garden. As I am quite fond of animals, I have a farm consisting of poultry, ducks, geese, guinea fowls, pigeons, quails and rabbits. I also have a fairly large pond with plenty of colourful fish. I also have a Golden Retriever dog (the fourth one down the line) and a pet cat. To complete it I have an indoor aquarium with colourful fish. An electronic incubator is helpful in hatching eggs.
Srianee, this is not Suri whom you addressed regarding Doll's House and Dollhouse. I am told both are correct and the former is common British usage and the latter American usage (where the doll and the house are one word- Dollhouse. This is of course just one of the many American Deviations (apart from DT!).
ReplyDeleteHi Mahen, thanks for the clarification. Somehow, I had a feeling that you would know! I had a feeling that both terms were correct. I tend to obsess over things like that! 🤣
DeleteWe lived in rural Hertfordshire, 50 miles north of London surrounded by farms and fields and clean air. Our friends and colleagues formed a wide circle and we were pretty close. After the children left the nest and with my retirement, being of the same vintage, friends and colleagues too dispersed. The nearest shopping was far away and we needed a car to get about. Our sons felt we should move to London closer to where we lived before near to the theatre, classical music venues and Lords Cricket grounds. So after 33 years we moved back to London. Supermarket, family doctor and the public transport are now within 10 minute’s walk away. Evening’s entertainment is close at hand. We couldn’t have chosen better.
ReplyDeleteMany important decisions in life are a huge compromise!! Noise and air pollution in London is a known hazard. The roads are busy and crossing them we need to take great care as our reflexes, hearing and eyesight aren’t as good. Being in the big city safety and security is a grave concern. It is hoped the plusses make up for the negatives.
We have connected with some old friends and made many new ones too. Regents Park and Primrose Hill give us great pleasure. The Queen Mary Rose garden is my refuge from the storms of life. It is so wonderful to be seated amidst the flowers frequented by bees and butterflies.
Many of our pals in Hertfordshire were flabbergasted that we were moving to busy London. Many British preferred to move away from London in their old age. We think we did right. It is best to think that way as there is no going back.