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Sunday, April 12, 2015

Jokes apart – Life’s like that - Sent in by Nihal D. Amerasekera

Our old pardner ND is quick on the draw. Here's the first one under the new category. Thank you ND.

Jokes apart – Life’s like that 

The word anticipation bring back memories of  Ceylon and an old Copper.  To ride a cycle at night a light was required.  A man  was cycling along Baseline Rd as the sky suddenly darkened just before the rain. He didn’t have a cycle lamp. A Policeman stopped him. The cyclist spoke in English saying “I didn’t anticipate the rain” . The policeman  was a rustic and was non-plussed. He blurted “ anty – ta- saneepa naththang - yanna” and let the man go on his way. 

In  old Colonial Ceylon a lawyer was cycling with his cigarette on his lips. That was then a symbol of affluence and of style.  It was a dark night.  A policeman stopped  and questioned him about his cycle lamp and pressed charges.  At Hultsdorp  Courts, the lawyer argued his own case. He argued  “ the law states that a cyclist must carry a light at night”. He showed his cigarette and said “this was my light that eventful night”. After much deliberation the defendant was acquitted and the law was later changed appropriately. This is not a joke but a fact.  

As a final year medical student I was at the Jeewaka Buddhist Hostel in Turret Road (renamed Dharmapala Mawatha) almost opposite the  Liberty Cinema.  That was a time of hard work and of good clean fun. Upali Wijeratne alias Cunningham was also  a Jeewakite. We examined patients late into the evening and were returning back to the hostel, cycling along Turret Road. My  borrowed bike had a lamp but Cunningham’s  cycle didn’t, but he carried a torch (used to test the pupils). A policeman stopped us  and asked Cunningham about his cycle lamp  who then showed him his torch. The Policeman said” The lamp must be attached to the cycle”. Cunningham in his inimitable cheeky style said “ The torch is attached to me and I am attached to the cycle. So the torch is attached to the cycle.” Those were the days when a “doctor” could do no wrong. Cunningham displayed his stethoscope and went on to say how he saved lives on a daily basis. The Cop listened with bated breath and Cunningham was let off with a gentle caution. This too is no joke but a fact with just a few embellishments for good effect.  

A surgeon on his ward rounds came to a patient with severe diabetes. He told the patient “ I have some good news and some bad news. To give the bad news first We have to amputate both your legs”.  The news hit him like a bolt of lightening.  The  surgeon waited a few minutes until the patient composed himself.  Then the surgeon went on  “The good news is that the patient in the next bed is willing to buy your shoes”.

I know it is rather crude to make fun of such a serious situation. This illustrates my point  about jokes on the Blog – where do you draw the line??

17 comments:

  1. Wonderful ND! Had a good laugh. ND has set the ball rolling and may be our jokes should ideally have some connection with our Med Faculty days or have a medical tinge to it. What do you think?

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  2. Mahen
    Thanks. Your suggestion seems good to me. That would avoid many of the problems. Then we have Lucky who can vet the content.
    ND

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  3. Another plus point - that type of humour will be unique to us. Who else but us will see any humour in:

    Q: "What passes through the foramen magnum?

    A: Gallons and gallons of .................

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  4. 7.30am NZ time- Monday - Iam ready early to leave for work and thought I'll have a quick peek-
    ND, I couldn't have started the day better- Thankyou - I think this will keep me laughing through the day if not the rest of the week! Well Done !

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  5. This one is from our Late colleague Punsiri Fernando and published earlier as a comment from me on his Batch Obituary notice in our Blog.
    The first one was at a Ward class with Mr Burhan (we called him Lord Burhan) when he asked the students whether anybody could name the main constituent of anti-gas gangrene serum and Punsiri rather diffidently put his hand up. Mr Burhan said "I am pleased that at least one of you seem to have some brains". "Yes", said Lord Burhan, looking expectantly at Punsiri who without a trace of a smile and with a serious expression, said "Sir, the main ingredient is water". Lord Burhan was lost for words!

    The next one is something I heard he did but cannot vouch for its veracity. I am told that he would wait at the bus stand, get into a bus and find a seat beside a person who was suitable for his prank, and then greet him with a hearty "Hello, Machang, how are you? Haven't seen you for a long time. Are you still working at the same place? I haven't met our mutual friend, you know who I am referring to of course, for a long time. I am told he is the same old bugger. Have you met him? I don't know about you but I am so busy these days". By this time the bus has reached the next stop and Punsiri gets up and says apologetically, "Sorry Machang, must go now, nice to have met you" and he departs while the hapless victim says "Nice to have met you too". For the rest of the journey, this poor fellow is wondering who on earth was that fellow! Has he forgotten? He seems familiar. Punsiri of course has never met him (and many previous victims) but just enjoys the look of total consternation he sees in his victims.

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    1. A very good prank, Mahendra, but I am not sure I'll have the nerve to do similar.
      Zita

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    2. Mahen
      Thanks for those memories. Punsiri had a tremendous sense of humour. Any joke without a 'hero' is pinned on him. We will now never know the truth. But he deserves all the credit for being such a jovial guy, whatever the situation, all though his life.
      ND

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  6. Thank you Mahen and Rohini for your kind comments. It is the oxygen that all bloggers need.
    ND

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  7. Hee! Hee! Wonderful, Nihal! May I add this to your priceless lot? (I was told this by a colleague) A man was looking for Lionel Wendt Theatre in Colombo and stopped a policeman to ask directions. 'Where is the Lionel Wendt?' The policeman turned to his colleague and asked in Sinhala, 'Kohedha Lionel Giyeh?'
    From Zita

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  8. That's a good one Zita. Do keep adding on. I am sure you have your own collection. Its good fun. Do send them to Lucky for publication. Its all for a good cause - to bring some happiness to our lives.
    ND

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  10. ND,Mahen and Zita - thanks for the laughs-we might all laugh and grow fat!
    Keep going- Best Wishes

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  11. Talking of policemen- Ana my husband was driving rather fast from Ragama to Colombo and was interrogated by a policeman at the Kelaniya Bridge.
    The excuse for speeding he gave was that he was rushing to see a patient.The policeman peeped into the car,saw the stethoscope on the seat by his side and said
    "You must be a doctor- I can see your stesticle- you can go!

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    1. I have heard that important medical instrument being referred to with many names but never with such an elevated status!

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  13. Thanks for the comment and the details of your website- Best Wishes-

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